my boyfriends family moved out of their last home, and into a new house. his mom and step dad keep fighting and he just threatened to kick them out. They still own their old home but the bills arnt paid so they cant move out. His mom just got over cancer so she doesnt have a job, and she has bad credit, from medical bills ect.. i feel so bad for him they have no place to stay, no money because the step dad keeps it all. any advice would be greatly appreciatedA friends family situation in need of advice, help?
is your friend able to work? if so he should work and save up money. they will just have to take things one day at a time...
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
My boyfriend doesn't seem to fit in with my family. Advice?
I love my boyfriend. When we're alone we have a great time. However, when we're with my family (my brother %26amp; his wife, my sister %26amp; her husband) I feel so uncomfortable becasue he just doesn't seem to fit in. I think it's matter of different humor. He's sensitive about the way we all razz each other. And then he tells jokes that aren't funny. For some reason he just seems like the outsider. How can I get this to stop bothering me? Does anybody have a similar situation where your partner doesn't fit in, but you love him so it doesn't matter? How do you deal with it?My boyfriend doesn't seem to fit in with my family. Advice?
My husband and I do not fit well with my family. We both fit in with his though.
We just sit on the side-lines together and interject with a comment once in a while. Also we ask questions to others to see if we can spark up a conversation.
Last night we went to my family's dinner and they played a game after dinner. We had fun, but my husband didn't play that game. He was included in other small ways. The second game that we pulled out, he did participate.
It will take time and you might never be truly blended. You have to accept it and try to adjust. Beforehand, I will give my husband tips on how to deal with my family and we talk about the visit in the car afterwards for future visits.My boyfriend doesn't seem to fit in with my family. Advice?
There is a cultural difference between my fiance %26amp; my family. At first it was weird because he didn't get their off color jokes( nothing racist, just crude). Eventually, he started to get confident around them %26amp; picked up their since of humor. My family loves him now. Your bf is going to eventually do the same thing. He just has to get use to the way u guys are 2gether. He'll adjust
i can see where you are coming from...but give him some time to warm up. not every fits in at first. and if he still doesn't fit make sure you take to talk one on one about. it would be easier for him to know how you feel and you both work together.
Also, finding a common interest is a good idea; try an activity that you all enjoy. I don't feel that I fit in with my boyfriends family, and i think its because i don't speak spanish = )
Good Luck!
Some people just don't fit in I stay home when my wife go's to her family stuff they are way too loud for me and I do not fit in but it does not effect my wife and I sometimes you have to separate family and lover
my boyfriend doesn't fit in with my family either. its always really awkward. but i just talked to my family and him about how i felt, and now theres less friction between anyone when we all go out somewhere, you should do the same (:
I had my boyfriend to stop telling jokes that wasn't funny.And I told him to just smile and laugh at the family jokes.I don't stay to long.A person can only stand so much.
well.....just relax and dont even mind the family eventually he will fall in place meanwhile dont let the relationship drag due to family, as long as he fits in with you thats all that matters
Well...I was there. When I started dating my wife I found that I didnt fit in with her family. And after 7 years i still dont.
Well you are wise to take this into consideration, for should you get married to him someday, this will be an ongoing issue. If your family is not intentionally treating him like an outsider, then I don't think its a big problem. If you feel the two of you are a good match, just remember that you marry the person, not for family approval. Inlaws don't always mix well, but that doesn't mean your relationship can't work. It would be more of a problem if your family treated him badly or was rejecting of him or vice versa. If bf is as loveable as you find him to be, eventually your family will embrace him for his good qualities. If not, how important is it?
My husband and I do not fit well with my family. We both fit in with his though.
We just sit on the side-lines together and interject with a comment once in a while. Also we ask questions to others to see if we can spark up a conversation.
Last night we went to my family's dinner and they played a game after dinner. We had fun, but my husband didn't play that game. He was included in other small ways. The second game that we pulled out, he did participate.
It will take time and you might never be truly blended. You have to accept it and try to adjust. Beforehand, I will give my husband tips on how to deal with my family and we talk about the visit in the car afterwards for future visits.My boyfriend doesn't seem to fit in with my family. Advice?
There is a cultural difference between my fiance %26amp; my family. At first it was weird because he didn't get their off color jokes( nothing racist, just crude). Eventually, he started to get confident around them %26amp; picked up their since of humor. My family loves him now. Your bf is going to eventually do the same thing. He just has to get use to the way u guys are 2gether. He'll adjust
i can see where you are coming from...but give him some time to warm up. not every fits in at first. and if he still doesn't fit make sure you take to talk one on one about. it would be easier for him to know how you feel and you both work together.
Also, finding a common interest is a good idea; try an activity that you all enjoy. I don't feel that I fit in with my boyfriends family, and i think its because i don't speak spanish = )
Good Luck!
Some people just don't fit in I stay home when my wife go's to her family stuff they are way too loud for me and I do not fit in but it does not effect my wife and I sometimes you have to separate family and lover
my boyfriend doesn't fit in with my family either. its always really awkward. but i just talked to my family and him about how i felt, and now theres less friction between anyone when we all go out somewhere, you should do the same (:
I had my boyfriend to stop telling jokes that wasn't funny.And I told him to just smile and laugh at the family jokes.I don't stay to long.A person can only stand so much.
well.....just relax and dont even mind the family eventually he will fall in place meanwhile dont let the relationship drag due to family, as long as he fits in with you thats all that matters
Well...I was there. When I started dating my wife I found that I didnt fit in with her family. And after 7 years i still dont.
Well you are wise to take this into consideration, for should you get married to him someday, this will be an ongoing issue. If your family is not intentionally treating him like an outsider, then I don't think its a big problem. If you feel the two of you are a good match, just remember that you marry the person, not for family approval. Inlaws don't always mix well, but that doesn't mean your relationship can't work. It would be more of a problem if your family treated him badly or was rejecting of him or vice versa. If bf is as loveable as you find him to be, eventually your family will embrace him for his good qualities. If not, how important is it?
Monday, August 23, 2010
I am terrified of having my child around my family! Advice?
My Grandmother thinks she is the boss of the in tire family and extended family. She give kids candy and pop even tho the parents say No. She will spank the kids and correct them if tho the parents are not for spanking.
My mother will do things her way with her nieces and nephews etc. She too will spoil them do what she thinks is best.
I am having my first child this fall. This will be my mothers first grandbaby and my grandmothers 3rd Great grandchild.
I am worried about what my mother and grandmother will do. If they don't respect my cousins wishes what makes me think they will respect mine? Advice?I am terrified of having my child around my family! Advice?
move away. far far awayI am terrified of having my child around my family! Advice?
I understand why you are so worried. If what your mother and grandmother do with children of the family worries you too much, then keep your child away from them as much as possible. This will be tough battle as it appears that your mother and grandmother are used to getting their way and won't bow out gracefully. The best thing would be to try to get them to understand your feelings about this, but I suspect that may not be possible, at least quickly and easily. You are the child's mother and the ultimate decision on how to handle your situation is up to you. Do what you think is best for your child, whatever that may be.
These are the exact reasons my mother moved from New York to Texas. She didn't want her mother-in-law overriding her decisions on how to raise her kids and she did something about it. However, I didn't get to know my grandmother very well either. So think hard about your decision. You may let her know your strong feelings about this and the consequences of not following your desire on how you want to raise your child. How did she raise her family? Did they turn out to be great people? Consider that too.
You will have some hurt feelings but let them know from day one that you are the parent and you and only you will disciple and you and only you will be the parent. Explain your not saying they can't love and be around your child but you are the parent. If they get mad, let them! Your child is what is important even if you have to separate yourself from them. It will be a new life after the baby is born so prepare for it early. Your baby comes first.
THat's a tough one. I would stay away from them as much as possible. People try to do that to my kids all the time. I've taught my kids to tell people they are not allowed to have chocolate and candy while they are away from me (visiting their dad or whatever). I hate when people correct my kids. I just try to avoid the situation all together.
You should have your own place to stay. Of course you can visit them say once a week or twice a month whatever you want. In that way, they can't manipulate the child or do their way. It's your responsibility to discipline your children. Do what you think is best.
They wont and you will have to stand up to them, remember its your child and you are the adult, make sure that you have your husband support and that he will back you up all the way.
tell them that it is your child and if they can not obey your wishes that they can stay away and that you will not bring your child around them
Advice on what? If you don't want your child to stay over at the grandparent or the great grand, then don't.
Don't go to their houses often, and when you do, stay within arm's reach of your child.
Just don't leave the baby alone with them.
Congrats!
tell them if they dont than you will not be bringing the baby around much.
How do you feel about the way you were brought up?? I'm sure you got a spanking or two in your lifetime when you deserved them.. They taught you to do what's right, and are very much responsible for who you are today. How good of a job did they do? What do you think of the way you turned out? Were they really that wrong in how they raised you?? I think they might have the advantage of experience on their side here. Ever think they might know something you don't?? Maybe if you talked to them you could come to a compromise. I'm sure that when you were little, you were told not to do something. It made you mad, and you went ahead and did it anyway. Same applies here... if you tell them ';no'; they'll do it anyway. Ohh..... and by the way.... that's exactly what Grandmothers are for...... to spoil and love their grandchildren. If you talk to them, maybe you can get them to throttle back a little.... to a point that everyone can live with..... and avoid all the family arguments that will happen over it.
FORGET the idea that YOU can or will change either of them. Many grandparents feel it is their ';right'; to spoil grand kids for whatever reason, and that is exactly what they do. You can TRY and talk to your Mother about your fear NOW, but as far as the Grandmother, don't bother. Your Grandmother IS the Matriarch of the family, so actually you all are SUPPOSED to respect her - even if you do not agree. I made the fatal mistake of asking my Grandmother to please stop talking bad about my Father, and she got SO angry she refused to talk to me ever again, and she cut me out of her will.
No doubt you will get A LOT of flack if you decide to not leave your kids with them. Be prepared for the guilt trips, bad mouthing, put downs, and possibly being disowned. The bottom line is, if you cannot handle people ';spoiling'; your kids or disciplining them different than you would, then by all means stand your ground. Have you thought about what you are going to say when your child asks WHY they cannot spend time alone with the Grandparents?
Talk to them about this before you give birth. Let them know you want them to respect you and your husbands decisions on how to discipline your child. Even though you tell them this they will still get on to them when acting up, hopefully they won't cross any of your boundaries. Just ask them to make sure the punishment matches the crime.
When it comes to spoiling, there you're kind of screwed. That's a perk grandparents, aunts, and uncles get. The fill them with sugar and junk food then send them home to you to deal with. When my 13 yr old nephew was a baby my dad would constantly say, ';Grandpas don't do diapers. Grandpas just play with 'em.';
Approach your mother first and do so now, before you have the baby. I would suggest working it into conversation a few times before you approach it directly. Bring up how you're looking to go organic and to avoid what seems to happen so much lately with children - spoiled etc. Then, after a few gentle hints, approach her directly with your concerns about wanting to make sure your child is not spoiled. Also, try to ask her for advice in areas with which you DO agree...it will make her feel like you still appreciate her suggestions. Lastly, realize that almost all grandparents spoil their grandchildren...it's what grandparents do. Cut her a little slack in this regard, after all she raised you and you didn't turn out so bad :)
As for your grandmother - either have your mom talk to her or approacher her yourself (whichever you feel more comfortable with). Start by mentioning how you've read quite a bit of information from child psycologists who've researched the negative effects of spanking and child obesity. Drop hints that you want to raise your child in a very 21st century way which means organic foods, few sugary sweets, time outs etc.
If you think she will say this is redicilous, then simply be direct with her. After all, this will be your child and you have a right to make healthy choices for him/her just as your grandmother had the right to make those choices for her own chldren.
Best advice - stick to your guns on this one. It's difficult to undo later on.laura mercier
My mother will do things her way with her nieces and nephews etc. She too will spoil them do what she thinks is best.
I am having my first child this fall. This will be my mothers first grandbaby and my grandmothers 3rd Great grandchild.
I am worried about what my mother and grandmother will do. If they don't respect my cousins wishes what makes me think they will respect mine? Advice?I am terrified of having my child around my family! Advice?
move away. far far awayI am terrified of having my child around my family! Advice?
I understand why you are so worried. If what your mother and grandmother do with children of the family worries you too much, then keep your child away from them as much as possible. This will be tough battle as it appears that your mother and grandmother are used to getting their way and won't bow out gracefully. The best thing would be to try to get them to understand your feelings about this, but I suspect that may not be possible, at least quickly and easily. You are the child's mother and the ultimate decision on how to handle your situation is up to you. Do what you think is best for your child, whatever that may be.
These are the exact reasons my mother moved from New York to Texas. She didn't want her mother-in-law overriding her decisions on how to raise her kids and she did something about it. However, I didn't get to know my grandmother very well either. So think hard about your decision. You may let her know your strong feelings about this and the consequences of not following your desire on how you want to raise your child. How did she raise her family? Did they turn out to be great people? Consider that too.
You will have some hurt feelings but let them know from day one that you are the parent and you and only you will disciple and you and only you will be the parent. Explain your not saying they can't love and be around your child but you are the parent. If they get mad, let them! Your child is what is important even if you have to separate yourself from them. It will be a new life after the baby is born so prepare for it early. Your baby comes first.
THat's a tough one. I would stay away from them as much as possible. People try to do that to my kids all the time. I've taught my kids to tell people they are not allowed to have chocolate and candy while they are away from me (visiting their dad or whatever). I hate when people correct my kids. I just try to avoid the situation all together.
You should have your own place to stay. Of course you can visit them say once a week or twice a month whatever you want. In that way, they can't manipulate the child or do their way. It's your responsibility to discipline your children. Do what you think is best.
They wont and you will have to stand up to them, remember its your child and you are the adult, make sure that you have your husband support and that he will back you up all the way.
tell them that it is your child and if they can not obey your wishes that they can stay away and that you will not bring your child around them
Advice on what? If you don't want your child to stay over at the grandparent or the great grand, then don't.
Don't go to their houses often, and when you do, stay within arm's reach of your child.
Just don't leave the baby alone with them.
Congrats!
tell them if they dont than you will not be bringing the baby around much.
How do you feel about the way you were brought up?? I'm sure you got a spanking or two in your lifetime when you deserved them.. They taught you to do what's right, and are very much responsible for who you are today. How good of a job did they do? What do you think of the way you turned out? Were they really that wrong in how they raised you?? I think they might have the advantage of experience on their side here. Ever think they might know something you don't?? Maybe if you talked to them you could come to a compromise. I'm sure that when you were little, you were told not to do something. It made you mad, and you went ahead and did it anyway. Same applies here... if you tell them ';no'; they'll do it anyway. Ohh..... and by the way.... that's exactly what Grandmothers are for...... to spoil and love their grandchildren. If you talk to them, maybe you can get them to throttle back a little.... to a point that everyone can live with..... and avoid all the family arguments that will happen over it.
FORGET the idea that YOU can or will change either of them. Many grandparents feel it is their ';right'; to spoil grand kids for whatever reason, and that is exactly what they do. You can TRY and talk to your Mother about your fear NOW, but as far as the Grandmother, don't bother. Your Grandmother IS the Matriarch of the family, so actually you all are SUPPOSED to respect her - even if you do not agree. I made the fatal mistake of asking my Grandmother to please stop talking bad about my Father, and she got SO angry she refused to talk to me ever again, and she cut me out of her will.
No doubt you will get A LOT of flack if you decide to not leave your kids with them. Be prepared for the guilt trips, bad mouthing, put downs, and possibly being disowned. The bottom line is, if you cannot handle people ';spoiling'; your kids or disciplining them different than you would, then by all means stand your ground. Have you thought about what you are going to say when your child asks WHY they cannot spend time alone with the Grandparents?
Talk to them about this before you give birth. Let them know you want them to respect you and your husbands decisions on how to discipline your child. Even though you tell them this they will still get on to them when acting up, hopefully they won't cross any of your boundaries. Just ask them to make sure the punishment matches the crime.
When it comes to spoiling, there you're kind of screwed. That's a perk grandparents, aunts, and uncles get. The fill them with sugar and junk food then send them home to you to deal with. When my 13 yr old nephew was a baby my dad would constantly say, ';Grandpas don't do diapers. Grandpas just play with 'em.';
Approach your mother first and do so now, before you have the baby. I would suggest working it into conversation a few times before you approach it directly. Bring up how you're looking to go organic and to avoid what seems to happen so much lately with children - spoiled etc. Then, after a few gentle hints, approach her directly with your concerns about wanting to make sure your child is not spoiled. Also, try to ask her for advice in areas with which you DO agree...it will make her feel like you still appreciate her suggestions. Lastly, realize that almost all grandparents spoil their grandchildren...it's what grandparents do. Cut her a little slack in this regard, after all she raised you and you didn't turn out so bad :)
As for your grandmother - either have your mom talk to her or approacher her yourself (whichever you feel more comfortable with). Start by mentioning how you've read quite a bit of information from child psycologists who've researched the negative effects of spanking and child obesity. Drop hints that you want to raise your child in a very 21st century way which means organic foods, few sugary sweets, time outs etc.
If you think she will say this is redicilous, then simply be direct with her. After all, this will be your child and you have a right to make healthy choices for him/her just as your grandmother had the right to make those choices for her own chldren.
Best advice - stick to your guns on this one. It's difficult to undo later on.
Fmla family medical leave act need advice?
i am thinking about applying for fmla at my job but before i do what r the pros and cons of it.Fmla family medical leave act need advice?
FMLA is a great way of protecting yourself and your job. I didn't find any cons with it personally. Without it though I would have lost my job for being absent due to my son's illness.Fmla family medical leave act need advice?
you do not get paid for the days you take off. your company will now have a diagnosis of your medical condition. or your family members diagnosis. if you decide that you want to have extra life insurance , there is now a written record in the system that has your diagnosis code on it. if you ever really get seriously sick , and you want to keep some privacy it's best to ask your doctor to help you out. if you can afford it , pay cash for certain procedures/treatment. tell them you do not have insurance even if you do . change your address that you use for them.
it's worse if you have a seirous health condition and they know it / because you will suddenly start being treated a lot different. you'll be passed over for good projects that you used to get. you will be left out of important meetings, you won't get copied on information you would have had before. get out of the loop because there is a perception that you are not going to be contributing as well or as much now and it's a question of time before you'll either quit on your own or they will make your life such a living hell that you have no other option.
when there is a layoff / mass reorganization , you can probably expect to get layed off. mass reorg is legal time that they can fire you / not have any issues / because they are getting rid of lots of others at that time.
while it is true you could take up to 12 weeks and they quarantee you a job, they are not going to like that you took of the time. they do not guarantee what kind of a job you will have when you come back.
If you use fmla for something really serious / it would be best to ask you doctor not to put the real reason down / instead list several smaller complaints that you can reach a full recovery for. if the company things okay this is just a broken leg or whatever . they will be more liekly to tolerate your being out of the office than if they think you have cancer and will be taking treatments and might not make a full recovery. you'll be too expensive and they won't want to do without someone doing your job for a long time.
when you take the fmla , use the time to look at other jobs, because you probably will not want to go back . you might get lucky and get a better office . it does have its benefits.
FMLA is a great way of protecting yourself and your job. I didn't find any cons with it personally. Without it though I would have lost my job for being absent due to my son's illness.Fmla family medical leave act need advice?
you do not get paid for the days you take off. your company will now have a diagnosis of your medical condition. or your family members diagnosis. if you decide that you want to have extra life insurance , there is now a written record in the system that has your diagnosis code on it. if you ever really get seriously sick , and you want to keep some privacy it's best to ask your doctor to help you out. if you can afford it , pay cash for certain procedures/treatment. tell them you do not have insurance even if you do . change your address that you use for them.
it's worse if you have a seirous health condition and they know it / because you will suddenly start being treated a lot different. you'll be passed over for good projects that you used to get. you will be left out of important meetings, you won't get copied on information you would have had before. get out of the loop because there is a perception that you are not going to be contributing as well or as much now and it's a question of time before you'll either quit on your own or they will make your life such a living hell that you have no other option.
when there is a layoff / mass reorganization , you can probably expect to get layed off. mass reorg is legal time that they can fire you / not have any issues / because they are getting rid of lots of others at that time.
while it is true you could take up to 12 weeks and they quarantee you a job, they are not going to like that you took of the time. they do not guarantee what kind of a job you will have when you come back.
If you use fmla for something really serious / it would be best to ask you doctor not to put the real reason down / instead list several smaller complaints that you can reach a full recovery for. if the company things okay this is just a broken leg or whatever . they will be more liekly to tolerate your being out of the office than if they think you have cancer and will be taking treatments and might not make a full recovery. you'll be too expensive and they won't want to do without someone doing your job for a long time.
when you take the fmla , use the time to look at other jobs, because you probably will not want to go back . you might get lucky and get a better office . it does have its benefits.
Seniors - Do you follow your family doctor's advice to the letter?
I listen to him, but use my own judgment. Once, my cholesterol number got up to 142, and he wanted it 139 or less..He told me he was putting me on Simvastin, and I told him I was not ready to start a medication regimen for 3 points, because of side effects...He said I would take the medication...I asked if he planned on coming to my home, and giving it to me everyday, because otherwise, I won't take it...I cut processed foods out of my diet, for two months, and my next check up the number was 124...Now it is 111....had it been 180, I may have considered it, but our health is a combination of doctors and our own choices....Seniors - Do you follow your family doctor's advice to the letter?
I refuse to go to any ';Dr.'; (any longer) as most of them are in cahoots with the Pharmaceutical, hospitals, and the Insurance Companies.
I do have access to a great Physician Assistant, in case of emergencies. He doesn't push drugs and has given me the best advice of any Dr. that I have ever been to in my entire life. Seniors - Do you follow your family doctor's advice to the letter?
I have learned to question my Doctor, when he gives me a prescription. I was taking a ';pill'; which was giving me certain side effects. My Doctor gave me another ';pill'; for what he said, was a separate issue. However, after investigating, searching and going on the net looking at the side affects of the first pill, I found that the second ';issue'; was being caused by the first pill. My Doctor (who is a personal friend whom I could talk candidly to) said he didn't know the first pill was creating the second diagnosis. Once I stopped (No. 1) the second ';sickness'; stopped also.
We have to use our common sense, and look out for ourselves as well as taking the Doctors recommendations. Who knows our bodies better than we do? There are so many pills being ';invented'; all with side affects of some kind. Keep your eyes on what is happening with your own body, and use your common sense if you find yourself getting ill.
I have never believed that doctors are gods, although some of them seem to think they are. If his advice doesn't work out, he can always say, 'oops', but you might not survive to say that. If you have doubts about any drugs or medications that you are taking, read everything you can find about it and it's side effects and how it interacts with other medications. www.drugs.com is a fairly good place to start. Get all the information that you can. Everyone reacts to things a little differently and you can't be sure how your body will react to any thing.
A few times I have told my doctor i didn't think he or she was right and then the reason. I usually was right because of the fact that the doctor had forgotten some fact back in my chart from a few years ago. I am a retired nurse and I can tell you that these doctors are so busy with so many patients and in such a changing world that they cannot keep up with everything and everyone. Help them out some and let them know you are not agreeing with them.
I'm really glad that you weighed everything. I had a friend that started acting strange and really freaked out. He too was in pain, but his wife trusted the doctor and kept giving him the Lipitor and he's gone now. I've heard of several people having trouble with it or any statin. I'm a little concerned about Gluophage. There can be some bad side effects (even death) but he says the benifit outweighs the side effects. I just started it a couple days ago ,so I can't tell yet. I'm on Amoryl also. That's two high sugar pills and I'm just not too sure.Good luck and bless you. I get a PDR soft cover at CVS ( $6.95) every yeasr and look up every pill, side effects. doses, and drugs that interact and a couple times I found something I shouldn't take with another pill i was on, I called the doctor and he said to stop taking it that he overlooked it. So we have to check thiongs out. You're right they are not God- and can make mistakes. They are human.
Iam a bi-och when it comes to doctors I question everything and look up everything he says I don't care how smart he is or how long he went to school he couldn't possible remember all that stuff. My dad thinks whatever they say is law he takes 14 pills a day I ask him do you know 2 are antidepressants and he said no! But he still takes it. oh well what you goneing to say.
I don't have a family doctor. I take what I can get at the clinic or the ER Room when I HAVE to go. I tell them to keep their meds because I won't take them anyway. I want information on how I can work WITH what I have, rather than destroy what I happen to now have left to work with. It's a given that I am on my way out %26amp; I want to enjoy my time by not being numbed to the point of confusion %26amp; stupidity....which according to some folks, will say I am stuck with anyway!
My mother found out the same thing. Good for you. Quality over quantity, I always say. I'd rather live life to the fullest now, although it may be shorter, than give up my life to live longer.
I take my beta blocker. If I don't I have a heart racing at 200 beats per minute just walking across the room. But that will soon be done. I take my water pill, so I don't blow up like a melon. But as far as all the other drugs he wanted to put me on--well, I won't even let him do the tests.
Yes, I decide on my health care. Not the doctor. I know women that go once a week to have their BP taken, but it is only borderline high. How dumb is that. I think they are (or their health insurance) being taken advantage of, and it just adds to the rest of the problems this country is facing with health care.
No, our family doctor is also a good friend and I question him constantly about everything and every reason that he has for prescribing meds for my husband. I too, research everything that my husband takes and present him with a list of questions and arguments about all of them. He knows us well enough to be ready for me when we are in for a visit. In spite of him telling me that my gall bladder needs to come out, I will live with an attack now and then as long as I can stand the pain. I happen to think that I NEED my gall bladder. He shakes his head at me and says, ';You will probably outlive all of us.'; I don't take any prescribed medication of any kind but do take vitamin supplements and some herbs. My cholesterol,etc. etc. is like a youngster's. My husband's health is heartbreaking but I won't let him be poisoned with drugs if I can help it.
I used to follow my doctors advice to the letter until he up and died a couple of years ago. He was 10 years younger than me and when I found out that he had died something told me that he really didn't know what he was talking about.
Most of them don't.
Yes , I had the same experience, and always remind myself that Doctors: Practice Medicine...
Also, the worlds Worst Doctor is out there, and that's scary enough, but somebody has got an appointment with them tomorrow morning.
Hope this helps, LOLO
It depends on what advice and what the situation is. I ask tons of questions when I see my doctors and get as much information as i can. They don't know everything but i do heed most of the advice.
It depends. Most of the time we agree on things so its not a problem. If I decide that I'm not going to follow his advice, I tell him and give him my reasoning. I'd rather be upfront so he knows what's going on.
Since my heart attack, now, I try to follow a dietitians advice (difficult), but I do come close to following my doctor's instructions.
Over the years I've found that Doctors seem to guess as much as I have. SO....unless I can't help myself THEN I'll see one. I don't trust them anymore. They have been so wrong so many times. I'm healthier if I stay away from them!
No. I used to until one had me taking diabetic medication when I wasn't diabetic. Now I go by how I feel and what I know about myself as well, and see another doctor if I think it's necessary.
Most of the time i do, but there are times when i disagree. Especially with cholesterol medicine.
Are you kidding? I won't even go to the doctor. They are
all working for the drug companies. You will stay a lot
healthier by not taking their chemical potions.
I try his recommendations - and if they work - fine! If not, I tend to let his recommendations fall by the wayside! Good Q. CJ
Only if I agree with him.
No. Doctors tend to want to ';dope you up'; and I'm not for that at all. Drugs are drugs whether you legalize them or not.
Yes I do. I have had the same doctor for years and he has never steered me wrong.
You bet I do.
I listen to, and respect my doctor -- then do my own thing to a degree.
I'm afraid not.
Yes, I do %26amp; I'd be afraid to go against his orders because I have so much faith in him.
yes -- why pay for advise if you are not going to accept it!!!
I refuse to go to any ';Dr.'; (any longer) as most of them are in cahoots with the Pharmaceutical, hospitals, and the Insurance Companies.
I do have access to a great Physician Assistant, in case of emergencies. He doesn't push drugs and has given me the best advice of any Dr. that I have ever been to in my entire life. Seniors - Do you follow your family doctor's advice to the letter?
I have learned to question my Doctor, when he gives me a prescription. I was taking a ';pill'; which was giving me certain side effects. My Doctor gave me another ';pill'; for what he said, was a separate issue. However, after investigating, searching and going on the net looking at the side affects of the first pill, I found that the second ';issue'; was being caused by the first pill. My Doctor (who is a personal friend whom I could talk candidly to) said he didn't know the first pill was creating the second diagnosis. Once I stopped (No. 1) the second ';sickness'; stopped also.
We have to use our common sense, and look out for ourselves as well as taking the Doctors recommendations. Who knows our bodies better than we do? There are so many pills being ';invented'; all with side affects of some kind. Keep your eyes on what is happening with your own body, and use your common sense if you find yourself getting ill.
I have never believed that doctors are gods, although some of them seem to think they are. If his advice doesn't work out, he can always say, 'oops', but you might not survive to say that. If you have doubts about any drugs or medications that you are taking, read everything you can find about it and it's side effects and how it interacts with other medications. www.drugs.com is a fairly good place to start. Get all the information that you can. Everyone reacts to things a little differently and you can't be sure how your body will react to any thing.
A few times I have told my doctor i didn't think he or she was right and then the reason. I usually was right because of the fact that the doctor had forgotten some fact back in my chart from a few years ago. I am a retired nurse and I can tell you that these doctors are so busy with so many patients and in such a changing world that they cannot keep up with everything and everyone. Help them out some and let them know you are not agreeing with them.
I'm really glad that you weighed everything. I had a friend that started acting strange and really freaked out. He too was in pain, but his wife trusted the doctor and kept giving him the Lipitor and he's gone now. I've heard of several people having trouble with it or any statin. I'm a little concerned about Gluophage. There can be some bad side effects (even death) but he says the benifit outweighs the side effects. I just started it a couple days ago ,so I can't tell yet. I'm on Amoryl also. That's two high sugar pills and I'm just not too sure.Good luck and bless you. I get a PDR soft cover at CVS ( $6.95) every yeasr and look up every pill, side effects. doses, and drugs that interact and a couple times I found something I shouldn't take with another pill i was on, I called the doctor and he said to stop taking it that he overlooked it. So we have to check thiongs out. You're right they are not God- and can make mistakes. They are human.
Iam a bi-och when it comes to doctors I question everything and look up everything he says I don't care how smart he is or how long he went to school he couldn't possible remember all that stuff. My dad thinks whatever they say is law he takes 14 pills a day I ask him do you know 2 are antidepressants and he said no! But he still takes it. oh well what you goneing to say.
I don't have a family doctor. I take what I can get at the clinic or the ER Room when I HAVE to go. I tell them to keep their meds because I won't take them anyway. I want information on how I can work WITH what I have, rather than destroy what I happen to now have left to work with. It's a given that I am on my way out %26amp; I want to enjoy my time by not being numbed to the point of confusion %26amp; stupidity....which according to some folks, will say I am stuck with anyway!
My mother found out the same thing. Good for you. Quality over quantity, I always say. I'd rather live life to the fullest now, although it may be shorter, than give up my life to live longer.
I take my beta blocker. If I don't I have a heart racing at 200 beats per minute just walking across the room. But that will soon be done. I take my water pill, so I don't blow up like a melon. But as far as all the other drugs he wanted to put me on--well, I won't even let him do the tests.
Yes, I decide on my health care. Not the doctor. I know women that go once a week to have their BP taken, but it is only borderline high. How dumb is that. I think they are (or their health insurance) being taken advantage of, and it just adds to the rest of the problems this country is facing with health care.
No, our family doctor is also a good friend and I question him constantly about everything and every reason that he has for prescribing meds for my husband. I too, research everything that my husband takes and present him with a list of questions and arguments about all of them. He knows us well enough to be ready for me when we are in for a visit. In spite of him telling me that my gall bladder needs to come out, I will live with an attack now and then as long as I can stand the pain. I happen to think that I NEED my gall bladder. He shakes his head at me and says, ';You will probably outlive all of us.'; I don't take any prescribed medication of any kind but do take vitamin supplements and some herbs. My cholesterol,etc. etc. is like a youngster's. My husband's health is heartbreaking but I won't let him be poisoned with drugs if I can help it.
I used to follow my doctors advice to the letter until he up and died a couple of years ago. He was 10 years younger than me and when I found out that he had died something told me that he really didn't know what he was talking about.
Most of them don't.
Yes , I had the same experience, and always remind myself that Doctors: Practice Medicine...
Also, the worlds Worst Doctor is out there, and that's scary enough, but somebody has got an appointment with them tomorrow morning.
Hope this helps, LOLO
It depends on what advice and what the situation is. I ask tons of questions when I see my doctors and get as much information as i can. They don't know everything but i do heed most of the advice.
It depends. Most of the time we agree on things so its not a problem. If I decide that I'm not going to follow his advice, I tell him and give him my reasoning. I'd rather be upfront so he knows what's going on.
Since my heart attack, now, I try to follow a dietitians advice (difficult), but I do come close to following my doctor's instructions.
Over the years I've found that Doctors seem to guess as much as I have. SO....unless I can't help myself THEN I'll see one. I don't trust them anymore. They have been so wrong so many times. I'm healthier if I stay away from them!
No. I used to until one had me taking diabetic medication when I wasn't diabetic. Now I go by how I feel and what I know about myself as well, and see another doctor if I think it's necessary.
Most of the time i do, but there are times when i disagree. Especially with cholesterol medicine.
Are you kidding? I won't even go to the doctor. They are
all working for the drug companies. You will stay a lot
healthier by not taking their chemical potions.
I try his recommendations - and if they work - fine! If not, I tend to let his recommendations fall by the wayside! Good Q. CJ
Only if I agree with him.
No. Doctors tend to want to ';dope you up'; and I'm not for that at all. Drugs are drugs whether you legalize them or not.
Yes I do. I have had the same doctor for years and he has never steered me wrong.
You bet I do.
I listen to, and respect my doctor -- then do my own thing to a degree.
I'm afraid not.
Yes, I do %26amp; I'd be afraid to go against his orders because I have so much faith in him.
yes -- why pay for advise if you are not going to accept it!!!
I need major tips on planning my family's first trip to Disney World!! Any advice, suggestions?
Well when I fist went to disney world we were he for 3 days and we sill didn't do everything so when you go you should go for like 5 days or so and stay at a hotel on the resort and you should get passes for every place there. Yeah so have funI need major tips on planning my family's first trip to Disney World!! Any advice, suggestions?
I think that the first step is to plan how long the vacation will be, and how you are going to get there. I know that there are sites online that help you to find great deals, etc. I remember a few years ago, that my family received a discounted room, and some passes for going to listen to a sales pitch about time share condos. It was painful and annoying, but may be worth it, as Disney trips can be very expensive.
Also talk to a travel agent, because they certainly know how to access deals and values, and help you to coordinate your trip. I hope that you have fun.
I think that the first step is to plan how long the vacation will be, and how you are going to get there. I know that there are sites online that help you to find great deals, etc. I remember a few years ago, that my family received a discounted room, and some passes for going to listen to a sales pitch about time share condos. It was painful and annoying, but may be worth it, as Disney trips can be very expensive.
Also talk to a travel agent, because they certainly know how to access deals and values, and help you to coordinate your trip. I hope that you have fun.
How to ';run away'; from the negativity of family? Advice please?
Ok, kind of a long story but anyways,
For the past about 6 years, I haven't been all that happy or satisfied with life but I have always kept a positive attitude and respected everyone around me. Basically, any feeling i had I kept to myself.
Just two weeks ago I had a mental breakdown, if you will, so i started seeking advice from school and yahoo answers. I kept everything secret from my family. And after seeking advice, I feel great. These past 2 weeks i have felt more alive than ever. Im happy again and no longer feel down 24/7.
I decided that i needed to have a little fun, because i've never had a lot of fun in my life. Literally, never. So, I went with some friends to an upscale mexican nightclub and had fun. I was dancing with a girl who gave me her number because she wants to teach me ';how to dance like a mexican';, lol, Salsa etc.. She was really nice, and I was excited. About 2 in the morning I was feeling wasted and drunk but it was alright because my friends were helping me. They drove me home at 3 in the morning. My door was locked so I had to bang on it. I woke up the family, and from then I havent heard the end of it.
They treat me like trash because i went out and had fun. They also are treating me like a 12 year old step child or something. They make me feel like trash and im just feeling like breaking down again. I dont know if i should just like get out now or what. it's kind of difficult. I cant take it anymore, its constant put down from them. They are always so negative. I love my family, but i mean there comes times when i just want to leave and never see them again.
I know it kind of sounds like im mad or something so im taking it out here, but this is absolutely not the case. There's a part of me that can ignore it and go on, but i dont know if that healthy because ive done that in the past and nothing ever came of it. It just built up inside and things didnt turn out pretty.
I mean the advice i would give myself would be to just forget about it and continue. To act like nothing has happened. I dont want to hurt my family but i also dont want any more damage done upon me.
Im just looking for advice, suggestions, any kind of help that you can give will be helpful:)
thanksHow to ';run away'; from the negativity of family? Advice please?
how old are you? Do they still have a right to control you and set restrictions on coming home at 3am wasted?
I was a party kid teen - 20's. My parents hated it but when i got older i moved out - and learnt the tough way what its liek to 'have a little bit of happiness and be responsible for myself and myslef only'How to ';run away'; from the negativity of family? Advice please?
uhh
well i dont have an answer but im in the same boat
well
if you are financially stable you have to move out of the house and let our life go on, but if you dont have money than damn we are in the same situation. I really am sick of my siblings and tey are so ignorant and would do exactly the same thing if i came home late
For the past about 6 years, I haven't been all that happy or satisfied with life but I have always kept a positive attitude and respected everyone around me. Basically, any feeling i had I kept to myself.
Just two weeks ago I had a mental breakdown, if you will, so i started seeking advice from school and yahoo answers. I kept everything secret from my family. And after seeking advice, I feel great. These past 2 weeks i have felt more alive than ever. Im happy again and no longer feel down 24/7.
I decided that i needed to have a little fun, because i've never had a lot of fun in my life. Literally, never. So, I went with some friends to an upscale mexican nightclub and had fun. I was dancing with a girl who gave me her number because she wants to teach me ';how to dance like a mexican';, lol, Salsa etc.. She was really nice, and I was excited. About 2 in the morning I was feeling wasted and drunk but it was alright because my friends were helping me. They drove me home at 3 in the morning. My door was locked so I had to bang on it. I woke up the family, and from then I havent heard the end of it.
They treat me like trash because i went out and had fun. They also are treating me like a 12 year old step child or something. They make me feel like trash and im just feeling like breaking down again. I dont know if i should just like get out now or what. it's kind of difficult. I cant take it anymore, its constant put down from them. They are always so negative. I love my family, but i mean there comes times when i just want to leave and never see them again.
I know it kind of sounds like im mad or something so im taking it out here, but this is absolutely not the case. There's a part of me that can ignore it and go on, but i dont know if that healthy because ive done that in the past and nothing ever came of it. It just built up inside and things didnt turn out pretty.
I mean the advice i would give myself would be to just forget about it and continue. To act like nothing has happened. I dont want to hurt my family but i also dont want any more damage done upon me.
Im just looking for advice, suggestions, any kind of help that you can give will be helpful:)
thanksHow to ';run away'; from the negativity of family? Advice please?
how old are you? Do they still have a right to control you and set restrictions on coming home at 3am wasted?
I was a party kid teen - 20's. My parents hated it but when i got older i moved out - and learnt the tough way what its liek to 'have a little bit of happiness and be responsible for myself and myslef only'How to ';run away'; from the negativity of family? Advice please?
uhh
well i dont have an answer but im in the same boat
well
if you are financially stable you have to move out of the house and let our life go on, but if you dont have money than damn we are in the same situation. I really am sick of my siblings and tey are so ignorant and would do exactly the same thing if i came home late
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