Help i need some serious family advice?

i separated from my husband because of domestic violence. we have 3 children aged 10, 7 and 3. i had to move out of our home which he owns with the aid of the police. after a few weeks he called me to say he would like to have contact with the kids and i agreed for the sake of the kids. he has always been a good dad. now he is not answering my calls and wrote me an email that if i want to have the kids i should stop my studies and working. i don't think this is fair.


plz help anyone who knows what i should do next. he also moved from where he used to live and i have no idea where he is now. plz helpHelp i need some serious family advice?
I am so sorry that your husband has been abusive. There is nothing you could have said or done that would justify any abusive behavior towards you. You and your children deserve better.





I would encourage you to call the National Domestic Violence Helpline (0808 2000 247). I am in the States, but that was the number I found for services in the UK. You can also visit the websites I added below for information, especially Women's Aid (http://www.womensaid.org.uk/ ).





Even if your husband never yelled or touched your children, they have been affected by the abuse. I would strongly encourage you to seek counseling options for yourself and your children through the national helpline. Advocates can also help you navigate the local laws regarding custody.





Domestic violence is, at its core, about control. When you left, you took the huge step of taking back the control of your own life. However, your husband still wants that control. If he cannot control you physically he will use your children to manipulate you. Telling you that you can have the children back under conditions that will leave you unable to properly care for them is clearly not in the best interest in his children. It does, however, make you dependent on him again.





You're a strong woman for standing up the this abuse. Your children are very lucky to have you. Please seek advocates who can help you; having supportive people around you now is so important!





In regards to not knowing where he is, and he has your children- you may be able to file a missing persons report because you have custodial rights to your children but do not know where they are. You may also verify his locations when you seek child support in court if you decide to seek a divorce.Help i need some serious family advice?
Assuming you live in the UK...





So you let him have access to the children and he is refusing to return them to you?


You need legal assistance immediately. Either go and get yourself a family law solicitor or get down to your local Citizens Advice Bureau straight away!





However, if this has all happened today then I really think you should call the Police.
Time to see a lawyer.


It is strange though how a ';good'; dad would beat his wife.I am sorry but that is NOT a good dad to teach his sons that beating your wife into submission is ok and that teaching your daughter that she is to take beatings from her husband when she marries is ok.


What were you thinking?


If he has the kids and you have custody,file kidnap charges.
I think you should get a divorce, get custody of your kids, let him have supervised visitation, get on your own two feet and move on. Domestic violators/offenders/batterers do that...you have to break the cycle of abuse. As long as you let him dictate your life to you you're still in the cycle.
See a solicitor to give you proper advice. If you are in the UK you may be entitled to legal aid, so you wouldn't have to pay.





He sounds as if he is a bully. You don't have to stop your studies or job if you don't want.
do not let him have the kids unless its supervised, ur kids could also b in danger. dont give up what u do 4 him, thats him trying 2 control u, do what u want, protect ur kids, go 2 socail services 4 advice. good luck
Sorry Miranda I really don't understand what you are asking/saying. Does your ex have the kids now and refuse to return them or what.
ring the police explain to the situation and tell them you want ur children...take him to court...hmmm do a little snooping you'll soon find out where he is !!
First, I would contact your local police department and see if there are laws pertaining to how long he can withhold the children from you without you being able to see them.. in my state, it's 14 days or it's called parental kidnapping.. and they will issue an Amber Alert on the children and he will be charged / jail time.. don't know if your laws are the same.





Second, I would contact an attorney and have him file a petition for emergency custody of the children.





He doesn't dictate if you can have your child. Go through the courts and learn your rights. Your children need both parents.

laura mercier

What to do about my family...advice needed please?

OK So im 15 years old and i have a 19 year old sister who just can't communicate with my parents...mostly with my dad though. She hasn't had the best relationship with him since she was 5. Mostly because he cheated on my mom and almost left us and he used to yell at her for everything and just ignored her. But That was a while ago and they all ended up going to family counseling for all that, and my parents, even though my dad cheated on my mom, still stayed together. But now some of those problems seem to be coming up again and other problems. I try to help my sister out but it just isn't enough. My sister is always getting into arguments with my dad and then when my mom tries to help she gets stuck in the middle and next thing you know shes crying and I'm trying to comfort her but i don't know how! Now its gotten so bad that my dad is just blaming everything on my mom and my mom is starting to say that if things don't start looking up then either my dads going to leave or she might leave or send my sister to Mexico so my dad and my sister can see how its like with out each other. But i don't want any of them to leave...like i know sooner or later my sister will move out because she just graduated and its getting serious with her b/f but i don't want her to move all the way to Mexico! I just feel stuck between my sister my mom and my dad but who I'm really scared for is my 10 year old baby brother...he adores my dad and everything...since my dad is the only man in the house. But i just don't know what to do...i don't know if a family counselor or psychologist will help. And im scared that if i talk to my dad i will only make things worse. Please can anyone give me some advice for this kind of problem because i feel like im running out of options!What to do about my family...advice needed please?
thats a good idea

My husband and I are about to start procedures to prosecute a family member for forgery need advice please?

OK this is the deal my husband let her sister purchase a home in his name for a home group, some years back, we started to notice that his credit was real bad, we could not get aprove for anything, when I invetigated why we found out that the sister and her hubby had transfer the original account to Country Wide, with out us knowing they sign loan documents and agree to their policies without telling us anything I have the proof on hands that they did and also when we find out they tried to put the house in someone else and again sign my husband name and I have that document also, we want to take this to the law but we don't know where to go first, Country Wide have a Identity theft department, and I am thinking on reporting this, they also got 11 thousand dollars for the closing with the original bank and didnt gave us nothing, never have paid us rent for having this house in his name, and the disable people they have in the house are not in the lease, do we have a case? continue....My husband and I are about to start procedures to prosecute a family member for forgery need advice please?
DO NOT GO TO COUNTRYWIDE...





Yet...





Countrywide is concerned with getting Countrywide's money back. You're concerned with you. And rightfully so. Let me suggest that you need to go to an attorney first, and let the attorney contact Countrywide on your behalf. The reason? You don't want to inadvertently say something to Countrywide that may later come back and haunt you.





Countrywide should have had systems in place to catch this. (I teach mortgage related topics to lenders nationwide, so I know there should have been tip-offs in the credit report, in your not being at the loan closing, or in whatever ID someone may have used to show they were your husband.) They will immediately go into damage control on those issues rather than work to make things right for you.





Also, you may have signed a Power Of Attorney with the original loan documents, or you may have inadvertently made Countrywide think an agency relationship existed between you and the crooks. If you don't even know what an agency relationship is, then you should not be talking to Countrywide. Remember, they have professionals looking to minimize Countrywide's damage. This is a one-time event for you. They will crush you, and do it in a way that you think they're doing you a favor.





Countrywide did you wrong as much as your husband's family. Do no think of them as being on your side in this. Get your own attorney and have them contact Countrywide.My husband and I are about to start procedures to prosecute a family member for forgery need advice please?
The matters you describe are very serious.


Report the facts to Country Wide so that they can start an investigation. Perhaps they may compensate you and may prosecute on your behalf.


Also go and have a free consultation with citizens advice office and do what they advise. They are very experienced.


I am sure they will tell you to go to a lawyer and as you will win any court action, your costs will be paid by the losers.
you need to go to a good real estate attorney. When you say that he let her buy a home, did he issue a power of attorney to her? How exactly did the transaction occur. Where were you guys in the whole process? Of course, they could have forged any power of attorney documents etc...





like I said though, you need a good real estate attorney who can help sort this mess out. That person can then pull all the documentation together to assist in litigation against the sister. The real estate attorney can recommend a good trial laywer.
I discovered that what I thought was a clear case of fraud wasn't defined as fraud by the law, so you really need to talk to an attorney. Most will not charge you for an initial consultation to determine if you have a case.





Because it involves a family member, they may consider it a domestic case, but that can vary from state to state. Much of it is going to boil down to the original agreement your husband made with his sister over he purchase of this home.





You say she purchased the home in his name. Was his name on the title or did he co-sign the loan? Did they have a written agreement over terms of the loan and any future sale of the house?





I would definitely contact this Country Wide and talk to them about the loan that has been set up with them and about what your sister-in-law has done. I would also sit down with a good attorney who is experienced in real estate and consumer law and find out if this is considered fraud.





Have you talked to your sister-in-law about this? If not, you should sit down and let her present her side of the story. Has she had a history of this sort of thing in the past?





I found that what I thought was fraud boiled down to my just being out of luck over what happened because the law did not see it the same way. I was out of thousands of dollars because of it. Only an attorney can help you determine what the laws are in your state.
i would contact Country wide as well as your Police Department. We had a similar problem my husbands cousin had power of attorney while we were out of the state over my mother in law whom is 90 years old and know we discovered she had open credit cards and loans in her name. What a mess. Good Luck to you .I think it's going to take along while before you get all of this straightened out but act quick.
Go to district attorney and a real estate attorney.

My husband and his family....advice please?

im so frustrated. i love my husband more than life. He's my heart, my everything. my best friend my life partener. Everything to me. And it goes both ways. It was love at first sight, we got married in a year. We are each others everything. But there is one problem. All of his family depends on him, his mom, his sisters, his cousins, everyone. he is everyones father and everyones fixer. Everyone depends on him to figure out their problems. But none of them appreciate it. IM so tired of him being there for everyone. Its gotten to the point that his mother and sister are liveing with us in our two bedroom house. I cant stand it! I hate them being here. And he cant tell them no. He cant tell them they need to find another place. When he says he's going to i know he doesnt want to and i feel selfish and tell him its ok. But i cant take it. Im going insane. Its causeing issues between us and with them and this isnt the kind of family you can have issues with one person because they ALL get mad. Everyone, even family that doesnt even live here. I dont want them here, i dont want to make my husband put them out because i know it will hurt him, i dont want them to all hate me. I dont know what to do. I feel like running away from my own home. What do i do?My husband and his family....advice please?
Hi,


It sounds like he's a great guy, be he needs to know that his family's problems are not your problems.


The best solution would be to move far enough away that they need to find somewhere else for support. This may not be realistic...


All I can say is take time for yourself, and for your relationship.. do date nights and work out a plan for his family to become more self sufficient.


Where would they be and what would they do if he weren't around?


He maybe enabling them to keep doing what there doing (nothing!) and not help themselves...


You are not being selfish, and anyone in your position would be going a lil crazy!


If I were you I'd take a little holiday, go stay with a friend/family and talk it out.


Your feelings are totally valid.


Hope things get better soon!My husband and his family....advice please?
You're definitely in a tough position. You must sit your husband down and convince him to tell his mother and sister to move out. This is your marriage and your life, no one not his mother or even yours should be involved in it. Things like that can ruin the happiest of marriages. You're in-laws must leave soon and if they don't have a place to go then the only solution is for you to find a temporary place to stay until they're gone.


Best of luck to you.
how is it his mother managed to live under a roof before he ever got born or he ever got married huh? now of a sudden she needs his house.


take out a newspaper and start looking for apts for them


even the bible says dont tarry long at your neighbors door or they will hate you


just tell them they have to go,
You and your husband need to see a counselor that can explain why it's a salvation to YOUR marriage to have his mother and sister live elsewhere. If he truly cares about you, foremost, he'll agree to this. Much good luck.
if you dont have financial problem so lets his parents stay in your other 2 bedrooms house. or say your husband back and solve this problem.
if hubby is deployed , then u are taking care of them not him. As much as he is the father figure to them.


Your house your rules. They dont like it , then they leave.
I'm sorry but your impulse to run away from your own home is the correct one. You are right in assuming that you can never compete with his family. He is the only one who can straighten this mess out, and I seriously doubt he will do it.


I hope you have family or good friends who live close because you need to go live with them and tell your husband you're not coming back until all of his relatives are moved out of the house and that he will have to get approval for any ';service requests'; from his relatives from you.


If he doesn't give in then start having as many affairs as you can until you find a better man, and then leave him. I'm sure he and his relatives will be very happy together.
I would consider talking to your husband about it, I know what it feels like, I've been put in that type of situation, when i was younger my father seemed to be the father of everyone in his whole family, if they had the smallest problem they'd all come running to him, and well like you i thought it was unfair, because it got to the point where they moved in with us.





I highly suggest you to talk to your husband about it again, but this time outside the house. If his relatives moving in with you guys is causing problems.....then they need to move out, I know you may feel guilty, but its either his family or you and the kids you might have in the future. When he decided to marry you he wanted to start a new family with you and well that does NOT include his mom or sister.








Your husband needs to talk to his mom and sister and tell them that you too need your own privacy in the best way he can find. It's his job to tell them. The most he can do is offer them his help maybe money wise. If they need money to rent a place out, but his not the only son tho, im guessing her mom had more, so its not his whole responsibility either, you need to make him understand that.








It's never going to work out if his family is living under the same roof as you, your always going to have problems, believe me my mother always did, until she had a serious talk with my father. He neccesarily doesn't need to choose between you and them, he can be with both of you, their just has to be some distance and privacy, theirs nothing wrong with that.








It's even worse if your the one thats dealing with it. If you can take it anymore and theirs is some problems you need to let your husband know your either telling them to leave or either you moving its his call, but I mean its your house, his not home. you should be comfortable in your own home. Do what feels right to you.








Best of luck -sincerely
If your husband don't want to do it you do it. It is not your husbands responsibility to take care of anyone but his own wife and children. Tell the mother and sister they have 3 days to find a place to live and give them a written notice so it holds up at the courts if need be. Also tell your husband for now on he tells his family he has to discuss things with you 1st before making a decision and than you can call them back and say no if he can't.
Run away from home.





Just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to be attached to their hip. Doesn't mean you have to live only for each other.





Tell him the house is too crowded, and since mommy and sister won't leave, you are. Go about looking for a place to live. When they get upset, be calm. Be sweet. Tell them it's all for the best.





Tell your husband you don't want a divorce. Tell him you intend to work on your marriage, but you won't live like this anymore. That he can come visit you at your new place, but that he needs to find some boundaries before you live under the same roof again.

Can somebody give me family advice(someone plz. hear me out)?

here is my thing i am a very nice perosn who is sometimes goofy i dont know my father like that because he is in the milatary and he dont hardly do nothing for me like for instince valentines day just came up and he didnt even bother to call he is married and i am the only should what should i do my mother is always invading my privacy and she thinks im having sex which im not but i told her that things like that roams through my mind and i think i need pills but as the days go by she mistraets me and do everything for my 13 yr. old sister when my mama is gone my 13 yr. sister is like a pissy lil baby wh has a LOT of mouth i dont want to hit her anymore but im strasseing big time can somebody give my advice its like all my life i had to look up to her dad and brothers but now they starting to trip its like my whole family loves my sister and they hate me i thinks its because she light skinned and im dark-i call my self tyhe ugly ducking because thats how im being treated. plz help meCan somebody give me family advice(someone plz. hear me out)?
Sorry to hear that dude.... Just be patient dude, someday they'll pay for what they've done. Showed 'em what the real talent of the ugly-duckling can do (like the story), make 'em proud of smtg u've achieved from urself! And u can just wait till u grown up, then leave the hell alone!





Good luck!XDCan somebody give me family advice(someone plz. hear me out)?
all you need is hope that those thing that you are thinking are not true if your parents really dont trust you then show them that you are very respectful and that they could trust you . for having a younger sib. that is always hard to because they get everything they want. see if you could sent some letters to your dad and tell him that you love him and come back soon


your parents do love and you are never the ugly duck.


keep thinking that and i think you will be ok

Please help, i need family advice!!?

I live in an incredibly overprotective home and it's driving me crazy. I am TWENTY years old and my parents treat me like i am four. They tell me what i can do with every aspect of my life, they don't think i should have any other life besides studying for school, they judge everything. They don't let me grow up and claim i am irresponsible. It's horrible. My mom will go through my phone, check my phone bill, everything.





The worst part is i can't do anything about it. I'm a college student so i'm broke and i need money to pay for things, especially school. It's so bad, i just feel trapped and sometimes i even think about suicide or just running away, just to get away.





Talking to them does NOTHING. I try and try and try and they just laugh at me or yell in my face. I really don't know what to do anymore.Please help, i need family advice!!?
To start, get a part-time job at your college. I know the economy is bad, but you can find part-time work. Then, use the money to pay for your on phone. Use ';pay as you go';.





If you can find full-time work, then get a roommate and find an apartment.





Just make some money, it will be worth it. You'll have to work and stay up late to finish your homework, but you'll have it your way. You'll have your freedom, and they won't be able to tell you anything.





You may have to get student loans. Just do what you can to move out! It's the only answer. Ask all your friends, they'll all tell you to move out.Please help, i need family advice!!?
you need to sit down with them and have a talk with them. BUT, tell them there will be absolutely no interruptions while you are talking. Besides, interrupting is considered rude. But don't come off mean to them. You need to let them know that you are an adult and that if you had the money, you could be capable of living on your own.





If that doesn't work go to a family counselor with them.
Only two things is going to help you and suicide is not either of them. First you need to get a job, second you need to move out on your own and take charge of your life and love your parents but let them know that this is your time and you need to use it wisely.
You should talk to your school adviser and see what your options are. You could live in a dorm and get a job after school. You are 20 yrs old and a legal adult.t You are old enough to make your own choices your parents cannot control you anymore.
you are old enough to apply for a grant and live in the dorms of the college or you should find a friend to stay with and also you can work at the colleges to
Here check this out


http://dmlive.com/
The only thing you can do is move out and support yourself. I can understand you wanting to be treated as a grown up but until you rely only on yourself you are still a child in their home. I moved out at 18 and put myself through college and worked full time and graduated with honors so it is do able i mean i didn't have a blackberry or a brand new car and i ate ALOT of ramen noodles :) but i had a roof over my head and transportation. I just had to work harder than most of the other kids. You cant appreciate your parents position until you get out on your own, but my advice to you is stay there and be grateful you are able to focus on school without having to worry about a job or bills, or move out. Definately move out if it is so bad you want to commit suicide though. As hard as it is to be on your own it is living and the hardest times of my life..like when i studied for finals by candle light because i couldn't pay my electric....are the ones i look back on most fondly :) Good Luck! One more thing you will appreciate college more if you pay for it!!
its situations like these that there are never any good answers. when this comes up, my best advice is to move out, and into a friends house.


another way is maybe contacting an attorney, and you could ';sue for damages done'; like invasion of privacy


again, i wish i could help more, but your parents aren't the kind of ppl you can change. they are ignorant, lifeless and cruel.





Doesn't you college have dorms? like, free housing? look into that too.


you can visit them on weekends and pretend you actually like them, and have the money you need for school supplies.





you have no reason for suicide, their is always an answer. as for running away, you could bunk with a friend, borrow their money, and pay back after college.


i often find that their is an ';ugly (or in this case not) duckling'; in the family, someone who could support you.


a grandparent? uncle or aunt? an older sibling who could talk to your parents? maybe even an old teacher


anyone you connect with.





their is no easy way out here. i can just wish you luck
What you need to do is try to move out and live with someone who can understand the situation at home. Be independent as much as you can. It may be hard due to the fact you are depending on your parents money to pay for college. This is probably why they are treating you like a child because they know you have no other means so you are depending on them. Speak to your guidance counselor at school and explain what is going on and you need to leave home. Suicide is definitely not the answer. You have to get some kind of job and move out and be more self sufficient and I know it's probably not going to be that easy but you have to start somewhere. Speak to your friends or other family members only if they are not like your parents to see if you can stay with them. I wish you the best of luck.

Ummm....i need family advice?

ok so when I was small me and my cousin were like best friends


but now...we're pretty much growing up


i know i'm probably being over dramatic


but somethings are WAY different


i mean now my cousin is EMO


but the problem is that she doesn't act emo at ALL


doesn't really dress like it or act like it but she calls herself emo


so when we have a family party she immediately hates it


i don't see why she hates it though...


family parties are actually pretty fun to me


but she told me I HATE THESE KIND OF PARTIES


now i don't know what to do cause she acts like she's the boss of me


and I HATE IT


she's just older than me by five days


i don't know what to do.....


it's sooo confusingUmmm....i need family advice?
I see where ur cumin from tell her that she is not the boss of you your in control of your self that shes not emo and why does she hav to be so grumpy and mean. ask her whats wrong w/ the parties? and her attitude tell her the whats right and wrong what u wont to no and ur opinion its prob just a stage shell get over it and i know the parties r prob different from mine but thieeer fun she can at least fake it i mean dudeUmmm....i need family advice?
Shes playing the teenager role, being too cool for family functions and trying to push herself away. Dont hangout with her if she treats you like that, hangout with other cousins or your aunts, shell get the picture when shes all alone. Its a phase i bet you guys will be close in a few years.
well dont judge her.


honestly, i hate hate family parties too...theyre so boring with pple u see everyday.


u should hang out together, and talk more to eachother before u loose her. none of my cousins live close to me...i wish they did though, i miss them alot...=(

mascara eye liner