Help i need some serious family advice?

i separated from my husband because of domestic violence. we have 3 children aged 10, 7 and 3. i had to move out of our home which he owns with the aid of the police. after a few weeks he called me to say he would like to have contact with the kids and i agreed for the sake of the kids. he has always been a good dad. now he is not answering my calls and wrote me an email that if i want to have the kids i should stop my studies and working. i don't think this is fair.


plz help anyone who knows what i should do next. he also moved from where he used to live and i have no idea where he is now. plz helpHelp i need some serious family advice?
I am so sorry that your husband has been abusive. There is nothing you could have said or done that would justify any abusive behavior towards you. You and your children deserve better.





I would encourage you to call the National Domestic Violence Helpline (0808 2000 247). I am in the States, but that was the number I found for services in the UK. You can also visit the websites I added below for information, especially Women's Aid (http://www.womensaid.org.uk/ ).





Even if your husband never yelled or touched your children, they have been affected by the abuse. I would strongly encourage you to seek counseling options for yourself and your children through the national helpline. Advocates can also help you navigate the local laws regarding custody.





Domestic violence is, at its core, about control. When you left, you took the huge step of taking back the control of your own life. However, your husband still wants that control. If he cannot control you physically he will use your children to manipulate you. Telling you that you can have the children back under conditions that will leave you unable to properly care for them is clearly not in the best interest in his children. It does, however, make you dependent on him again.





You're a strong woman for standing up the this abuse. Your children are very lucky to have you. Please seek advocates who can help you; having supportive people around you now is so important!





In regards to not knowing where he is, and he has your children- you may be able to file a missing persons report because you have custodial rights to your children but do not know where they are. You may also verify his locations when you seek child support in court if you decide to seek a divorce.Help i need some serious family advice?
Assuming you live in the UK...





So you let him have access to the children and he is refusing to return them to you?


You need legal assistance immediately. Either go and get yourself a family law solicitor or get down to your local Citizens Advice Bureau straight away!





However, if this has all happened today then I really think you should call the Police.
Time to see a lawyer.


It is strange though how a ';good'; dad would beat his wife.I am sorry but that is NOT a good dad to teach his sons that beating your wife into submission is ok and that teaching your daughter that she is to take beatings from her husband when she marries is ok.


What were you thinking?


If he has the kids and you have custody,file kidnap charges.
I think you should get a divorce, get custody of your kids, let him have supervised visitation, get on your own two feet and move on. Domestic violators/offenders/batterers do that...you have to break the cycle of abuse. As long as you let him dictate your life to you you're still in the cycle.
See a solicitor to give you proper advice. If you are in the UK you may be entitled to legal aid, so you wouldn't have to pay.





He sounds as if he is a bully. You don't have to stop your studies or job if you don't want.
do not let him have the kids unless its supervised, ur kids could also b in danger. dont give up what u do 4 him, thats him trying 2 control u, do what u want, protect ur kids, go 2 socail services 4 advice. good luck
Sorry Miranda I really don't understand what you are asking/saying. Does your ex have the kids now and refuse to return them or what.
ring the police explain to the situation and tell them you want ur children...take him to court...hmmm do a little snooping you'll soon find out where he is !!
First, I would contact your local police department and see if there are laws pertaining to how long he can withhold the children from you without you being able to see them.. in my state, it's 14 days or it's called parental kidnapping.. and they will issue an Amber Alert on the children and he will be charged / jail time.. don't know if your laws are the same.





Second, I would contact an attorney and have him file a petition for emergency custody of the children.





He doesn't dictate if you can have your child. Go through the courts and learn your rights. Your children need both parents.

laura mercier