Need family advice about double standards?

I'm 19. I live at home with my mother and older brother is in and out, depends if his girlfriend kicks him out or not.





My brother is an active alcoholic and abuses cough medicine and other over the counter cold medicines like sudafed. My brother works nights.





When my car broke down a couple years ago, I asked to borrow my brother's car so I could go to work during the day. I would be home in plenty of time for him to get to his night job. My brother refused to let me do this even though I am a safe driver and it wasn't far away only 10 minute drive.





My brother also has refused to acknowledge my birthday or speak my name. He'll talk to me when he wants something. I do his laundry for him.





My brother's car transmission is now giving him trouble. My mother asked me if I'd let him drive my car to work tonight. His car drives, but it makes a noise when he accelerates and he needs to get it looked at tomorrow.





I told my mom no I won't do it. So she's mad at me, saying that ';2 wrongs don't make a right'; and she wants me to let him use my car. I told her ';Ok I'll let him use my car if he doesn't binge drink when he gets home from work'; and she shook her head no.





Do you guys think I'm being unfair or childish? I feel like this isn't about letting him use my car. It's about how he treats me (he would never do ANYTHING for me) and how he abuses drugs.





What do you guys think please?Need family advice about double standards?
Well, you could be better than him and offer to take him to work and pick him up if that's fits your schedule. He probably needs his job, your life won't get any better if he loses it I'm sure.





It's too bad you have to live with a user. Your mom should do something, if she doesn't know what her options are, she could go through the trouble to find out.Need family advice about double standards?
If you think your brother is being unfair to you, you have the right to take a slightly less smooth.





If you do, you can not see it being so mean to you and do not help anything.





You can never change the way a person thinks, but if you'll give a little warning that walks not in the right direction.
i wouldn't let him use my car for the simple reason that he is an alcoholic. revenge or anything like it wouldn't even play a part.
at 19 i was married. you need to move
It's your car, and you have every right to decide who drives it. Let's talk about your brother for a second...





-He abuses drugs and alcohol.


-He wouldn't let you use his car when yours broke down


-He never talks to you unless he wants something from you





I'd say the answer is obvious....and your mom needs to put her foot down with him. And let your mom stay mad. It's your car, and you'd be footing the bill if he got into an accident while he was wasted. Tell both of them the answer is NO and you will no longer discuss the matter with either of them. I think it's time for you to seriously consider getting out of there. And tell him to do his own laundry.
No, I would not let my brother use my car.


obviously your mom is picking sides here, which is completely wrong, i feel for you.


he needs to learn how much he needs you, and if he's not willing to sacrifice for you, what kind of brother is he?!? drunk or sober, still he needs to realize that he has to work for what he has.


sorry about your situation, hopefully it turns out good.


trust yourself, dont let your mom or anyone else influence your choice.


good luck!!! XD