Sunday, August 22, 2010

I need family advice NOW!?

I'm 17 and my sister is 19. She's home for 2 weeks before fall term of college (her sophomore year) begins, and I'll be a senior in high school. However, living at home right now is hell on earth. She demands that I do everything for her. She doesn't have her driver's license but I do, so any time she wants to go somewhere I have to take her. I pay for the gas in my car (it's a 1999 Saturn, I got it when my grandma's uncle died, it was his and the estate was selling it dirtcheap so I bought it). Today she said that she wanted to go to her friend's house so, when I was busy buying my books online for school, she demanded that I drive her (it's 35 minutes away). I told her that I couldn't right then, she would have to wait until I was done and either take the bus or not go today. She immediately launched into a screamfest and yelled at me ';No you dirty little f*cker, you're going to get your *** out into the car and you're going to take me! I don't give a sh*t about your books!'; and began punching my shoulder, which I wrenched yesterday prepping the boat to take out fishing tomorrow. I told her to knock it off and stop hitting me and she refused. She punched me again so I grabbed her arm to keep her from hitting my shoulder (it hurts really badly, even after a max dose of Tylenol) and she screamed. Then my dad came downstairs and said ';Shut the f*ck up and if I ever see you touch her again I'll break your f*cking arm.'; I told him what went on and he said ';Yeah right, I would have heard it.'; (he's deaf in his right ear from working in a factory for 30 years, and has partial hearing in his left). Then under her breath, she said ';So there b*tch, get off your *** and take me NOW.'; I told her no because I was still working, so she went upstairs. Then I heard a noise of a crash upstairs, so I went up to see--she was in my room looking for my car keys and in the process knocked over the picture frame on my desk onto the floor, and it shattered. I told her to get the broom to clean up the glass, and she said ';Oh, I didn't do it!'; when she clearly did. By the time I got the glass cleaned up most of the way, I noticed my keys were gone, and heard the car alarm go off--she tried to open the door with the key but I locked it with the remote, so she couldn't get in. I took my keys back and went inside and my dad yelled at me for having glass on the floor in my room and I told him that she knocked it over when she was getting the keys, and he said ';Big deal, suck it up. Take her to her friend's house'; I had just finished buying my books so I got in the car and went to take her, and told her I needed to get gas for the 70 mile roundtrip, and she was going to pay me gas money. She said to forget it and took the bus. When she got home later, I was cooking dinner (grilled chicken and broccoli alfredo) and she demanded that I make something different because she wanted pizza instead. I explained that we didn't have anything to make it and I had already started this, and she said fine and stomped off. I finished dinner and we began to eat, and she said ';Eww, this tastes like dog sh*t'; (even though the rest of us thought it was very good; I've won an award for this recipe), spat out her mouthful (she eats like a pig) and stomped off. I was angry and I excused myself from the table to calm down. I came back and the rest of us finished dinner normally.





Then just now I came downstairs after finishing all the dinner chores (cleaning the table, rinsing the dishes, starting the dishwasher, etc) and sat down, and instantly she got up, shouted ';Goddamn you, why the f*ck are you still here? Don't you get that I hate your guts and wish that you wouldn't f*cking live here? Stop breathing you little bastard!'; and ran upstairs and slammed the door. My dad came downstairs and began yelling at me for ';annoying her'; and when I got up to rinse out my soda can before recycling it, I lost my balance and put out my arm to catch myself before I landed on my bad knee (I chipped it in April when I fell up the Acropolis in Athens), and then he grabbed my arm (the same one she had punched earlier, that was already wrenched) and pulled it out and then yelled at me. He just went to work now, so thankfully there's a bit of peace here now. What can I do? This has been going on since she came home Friday night. My parents are basically doing whatever she wants to keep her willing to come home (she doesn't want to come home a whole lot because she goes to college 400 miles away). I've talked to them about this before and they don't listen. I don't know how I'm going to be able to take another 2 weeks of this. It's so bad right now that I don't know how to take 2 more weeks of this. I've been down a lot over the last several months, and I've gotten it checked out--2 weeks ago, my tests came back negative, so I am not depressed nor do I have a mental health issue. What can I do to be able to stand the next 2 weeks? My own sanity is on the line!I need family advice NOW!?
That's terrible. I suggest that you stay with someone else for the next couple of weeks. A good friend or family member. You should sit it out until everything calms down.





If the problems at home still continue, I suggest you move out when you turn 18. Then you are a adult, so you won't be bothered by your dad and sister.





Also, I suggest that you talk to someone that you trust, about your situation at home. I honestly have to say that you can't live in an environment like that. I hate to say this but, your academic scores are going to drop at this rate.





I think that you should talk to your school councilor or a family councilor about it. They can help you work out the issue and talk to your sister and father.





You should tell your sister to go get her own drivers license. Even if she just yells and hits you, ignore her. She has to learn to not depend on someone else to provide her transportation.





Besides shes going to need a license sooner or later. She can't continue her life without a type of transportation ready.





Anyways, you're almost a legal adult, so I say just stay over at a friends place for a while and wait until your sister leaves. When she leaves you can go back to your house. If problems arise with your father, then you can always go back to the person letting you stay over.





Anyways I hope this helps, and good luck!





-Shadow





I need family advice NOW!?
IF she hits you again have her butt put in jail!
just ignore everything she does/says


walk by her like she's not there


if she asks you to drive her somewhere tell her


that she's old enough to get a licence


when she yells pretend like you cant even hear her


when she hits you get up and walk away preferably to a room


that has a door that can be locked.


just dont even talk to her, try going on with like as if she where


not there, off at college.





thats what i would do.





she'll be off soon (:



Aww hunny. Can you stay with a relative or something?





And OMG you need to sit your dad down and explain to him whats happening.





And KILL the ***** KILL HER NOWWW.
This is awful. If I were you, I'd see if I could stay with a friend for the next couple weeks! There are no easy answers here. Sounds like she's set in her ways and determined to be nasty. I'd stay away as much as possible and avoid her altogether.
find a place to stay until she is gone, a Friends a relative or a hotel, then talk to your parents about what happened. nobody needs to be abused and especially not by a family member when you can't escape.


if this isn't possible, then you can call the police and let your family explain where the bruises came from
I agree with the answer that says simply pretend she is not there. Don't talk to her, answer her questions, or speak to her. Tell your parents that you will no longer tolerate her abuse, and that you expect them to back you up. Also that you will not serve as a free taxi service for her. And if she hits you again, call the police and have them come chat with her about domestic abuse.
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