Need family advice. i have the hardest thing i've ever had to do and im having feelings i cant explain.?

i have a 10 month old daughter who has cf. i've been a stay at home dad since she was born. my wifes job has the great benefits and good money so we eek a livng on our own. i love my fiance more everyday. she is giving birth to our son on feb 2nd of 09. Well, heres my dilema. i just got a job in afghanistan doing civilian work on a base supporting troops. the money is very very good. but i have to leave dec 14th and ill be back every 4 months for a 10 day r and r. the benefits for my family as a whole even if i do this for 3 years is unbelieveable. so why do i feel so rotten about having no hand in raisng my children? i feel like i'm leaving them without a daddy to be there(even though mommy gets to quit her job) . am i a daddy or just a father providing? anyway i'm going to miss christmas, my daughters 1st bday, and the birth of my son. am i making the right sacrifice for the greater good of my family as a whole? cuz insnt that what its about? family? Need family advice. i have the hardest thing i've ever had to do and im having feelings i cant explain.?
if you have to go and have no other choices. you care about leaving. that's thoughtful and ask your wife to send to video and mail and contact them often. your wife or fiance...she'll be alone with two infants though...i hope she has some help. some dads are near home and dont give a crap and prefer to stay away and dont care at all mind body or soul.


Im sure you can make something work out. kids dont remember much at that age except to say that theyre minds can grow healthy with lots of nurturing from the parent that is with them. come home quickly and safely. peace soldier Need family advice. i have the hardest thing i've ever had to do and im having feelings i cant explain.?
theres more things in life than money so you should find a job closer to home.. its better to be poor and happy then rich and miserable right??
You have a wife and a fiance??? Your problems are just beginning....
look, you can make money anytime, put your family first, even if your just getting by, youll feel more satisfied with your life, if you leave your family to make money [regardless if its to provide for them] you'll regret it and you cant rewind time so take advantage of your little ones bc later on, they wont want to be around you, and that's when you can smother yourself in work, WHEN THERE GONE, enjoy bc babies are your fututre so spend some time with them, they'll love you more and you wife will appreciate you more when she see's that that right sacrifice will be the job for your family, not your family for your job, makes sence???
As difficult as this separation will be, if it is for the overall betterment of the family, you are doing the right thing! Being a good father includes providing for the family, looking to the future and making sure that they are able to get the necessary things (like medical treatment). You have to be a father before you can be a daddy. I hope for all your sakes that this works for you. Remember, you can use the internet to maintain contact while you are away. You can read stories on tape (or cd or ipod), you can use web cam to see them and they see you. So you won't be totally disconnected. And if you are supporting our troops through your work, you will be doubly blessed. You will be giving the true definition to ';God, Country, Family';.
Well, if you're committed to going, then it's all about the two of you choosing how you see this. What other options do you have right now? If you can't get around it, then work it!


The thing is, there have been many traveling salesman types, etc.


You have to do what you have to do.


Maybe there will be many WebCam opportunites for you all.


It sure isn't the same, but it can be a great help.


There are people all over the world involved in wars and being stationed elsewhere...


And one question- if your wife gets to quit her job, can the kids come with you?


And one more little thing- babies are all about the sense of smell, so make sure the baby has a teddy bear that you've dlept next to or something liek that, and one for the older child too.
There are so many young people like you in Irak and other places


fighting for our freedom and in same situation and life is about making


choices, your children will be allright, if youre fiance is a strong woman


like you say and just make sure when you are home to give them that


quality time, some parents are there at home 100% b ut dont even


talk to their kids anymore, no communication. With this economy


I would take this job and protect your kids future, sometimes as


parents we have to make difficult decisions and if I know that my


childs future is going to be better, saving for college or university is


so out of reach now for many students specially if they want a degree


Me and my husband both worked when our child was little and


sometimes it was hard for me so many hours away from her grand


parents took care of her, but we maintained quality time the time we


had together, now shes an adult and shes going to medicine school


when we asked her how she came to that decision, she told us that


she learned by example, by how hard we worked to make her future


brighter.
Money is NOT everything, but if you PLAN right, 3 years is really not that long.





My hubby works away and I have the kids and as well do not have to work, due to his line of work, and him being the best provider possible.





You are missing a bunch of really IMPORTANT things making this choice, but is it worth it for anything besides the money???





That's a question ONLY YOU TWO can decide is right or wrong!!





Good Luck!
You are right it is all about family and really you have to do what you feel is gonna be right for your family as a whole. i am sure there are things for you to consider that we dont know about. but i agree with edward family is more important than money. if its just money i would rather my husband stay home. but like i said there is always more to this story than we know. Good luck to your family no matter what you decide.
Military men make this situation work everyday with a lot less R %26amp; R time and most likely a lot less contact than you're going to get. Just for an example, DH's submarine deployments were 6 months out, phone calls maybe allowed for 2 weeks of that time (split up a day here, 3 there...), e-mail was spotty, and there was maybe 10 days off (maybe) at the end of the deployment. Yet somehow his is still a fully functioning father to our 2 DD's.





To do that, though, you have to do a lot of prep work before you leave, make some effort to stay close and involved while you're gone and be ready to deal with the issues that will come up when you come home both for R %26amp; R and when you come home for good. If you're going to be helping with service members see what support information you can get from them. The deployment handbooks have some good ideas to make time away ';real'; to young kids. And give lots of ways to stay connected, both for you to arrange and for your ';wife'; and kids to arrange.





You also should be careful to make sure your ';wife'; can handle anything that comes up. Sure, the account is great, but what happens if the money doesn't get deposited like it should. Leave her with the legal documentation she'll need to take care of problems if they arise.
Well I can tell you one thing, my dad was never there for a single one of my birthdays not even the day i was born. and that really does hurt but he wasn't making any sacrifice for the ';greater good'; he just wasn't there, for different reasons. But i really think you should talk to your wife and explain to her what your feeling and decide on what action to take. but let me just tell you something if you do stay things are going to be a bit more stressful because you will both have to work and then neither of you will have time with the children. and i mean they're still young and this job isn't that long when you're finished you'll have plenty of time with them. just talk to your wife.=]
life is about choices.





I have several friends in the same situation. some questions you should consider, is yo baby's momma mature enough to handle all this while you're gone? what about handling money?





It may be in everybody's best interest for you to stay put. money isn't everything and duty in AFG isn't all the fun you've been promised.