I would really appreciate some family advice from strangers as don't know what to do..?

My mother and father divorced when I was a baby, he was a womaniser . He never kept in touch with me or my mother. A few years back I got in touch with my fathers side of the family. They are brilliant and I love them very much. my father does not want to meet me , he is married with two daughters aged 15 and 20. he has not told them I exist.! I am 33 and sad that my father does not want to know me but reckon he is just not worth it. My dilemma is that I want them girls to know that I exist and feel unhappy and sad at the situation. I want to go to Israel ( where they live) and tell his wife and girls in the nicest way that I exist.My dads family think I should do nothing and be happy with being with them and having them in my life, which I am , but I still feel sad about the situation.Opinions welcome, Should I do something or do nothing?I would really appreciate some family advice from strangers as don't know what to do..?
I think you've done enough - you let his family know of your desire, but you shouldn't be so blatant as to force your way into his other family. Unless you are invited, it really isn't your place. The fact that you are so adamant about this leads some to believe you want to do it out of spite - like it's a way you can throw a wrench into your father's new family life. Perhaps they are happy - do you really want to ruin that for them? Regardless of how you feel about your father, did these other people do anything to cause havoc in your life? Of course not, so why do that to them?I would really appreciate some family advice from strangers as don't know what to do..?
Dont do anything. I know it sounds bad but how about if his wife now doesnt know he was married and had kids? That would mess up his relationship there.





Besides, you said yourself that he doesnt want to meet you. Would you really want to travel over there just to be rejected face to face?





Leave him alone - Its him thats missing out. Enjoy the rest of his family though.





Stu


xxx
I would do something, they are your family, you have a right to get to know them. If your father doesn't want to see you, ( i think thats really wrong by the way) thats his choice, but he can't speak for his two daughters.
Go with your heart. Go with what you think is the right thing. :-) If I were you I would try to have somebody tell my dad for me if I couldn't reach him. And if I couldn't, then I would just leave it alone :-) hope this helps
if he doesnt want you in his life... now that your an adult. you have no right to destroy his family!
If you just go to israel and turn up on their door step it will end up causing lots of problems and complications.


Why don't you write to him and tell him that you would like to meet him, his wife and your two sisters.


In your letter give him your mobile number and ask him to phone you in private, (ie., when his wife and daughters are not around).


Just bear in mind that he mind not phone you stratight away, it could be some time before he does.


However, when he does, tell him that you would like to meet him and his family and ask him why he has kept you a secret from them. there could be a perfectly could reason for him doing this.


hope this helps.
That's nice of you to want to do that, but maybe he has a very good reason for not letting them know of you. But i mean you do have a point but before you make any contact i think you should think this over long and hard because your life is going to change when you do tell them. And hopefully they will accept you into their family without any complications. But i think you should talk to your father first of all and hear what he has to say and well basically get to know him before you do something like that.