Family advice please help?

Me %26amp; my boyfriend have been together for a while now, but I feel guilty that I sleep with him and his parents don't really know me. I'd like to bond with them. Get to know his parents better, but I am an extremely shy person. I am shy because I was very close with my Father/Godfather and they passed away reccently. My mother is a very cruel woman. She constantly wishes me dead, wishes I was never born, calls me worthless, and she has hit me (only like 4 times in the past 3 years). My father/Godfather truly loved me and without them I don't feel safe. I guess that's why I am shy and scared of getting to know them because I fear of my past. How can I get past this and start bonding with them?Family advice please help?
I think the first thing you need to do is separate this paragraph into individual instances.





1) Feeling guilty for sleeping with boyfriend. (has nothing to do with parents.)


2) Mother has emotionally and physically abused you.


3) You are hurt because you just lost the only ones who made you feel of value and worth.


4) Obviously have respect for the parents of the boyfriend and are hoping they will be a ';replacement'; for lack of a better word for those you've lost. In other words you want their love and approval as you had of those who you've recently lost.





The first good news is it sounds as though you actually know yourself quite well. Though your emotions have taken a hard hit, you still at least have a solid connection with your heart and know what you need/want.





Tackle these things as individuals instead of lumping them in one paragraph/problem.





I'm sorry to hear about your Mother. Obviously she has not known love in a long time and feels very guilty for things she has done. Wish you to go away is often a sign of one who just wishes she could go away but projects it on others. It really has nothing to do with you.





I understand that you feel guilty for sleeping with your boyfriend, however you will have to decide where that comes from. If you are concerned what his parents would say, then obviously you are simply wanting their approval and are afraid of messing it up. Don't take that out on your boyfriend, but instead share these things with him about the loss of your Father/Godfather and explain to him you'd like to get to know his parents better.





Beyond that, I really feel it would be a good idea for you to really talk out your heart and thoughts with someone not connected to your situations.





Feel free to email me any time.Family advice please help?
You have been burned by the recent death of two of your closest family members and the fact that your mom is verbally abusive.


I suggest you ask your boyfriend to have you over for dinner so you can get to know his parents. Once you hang out with them a couple of times, you'll start to feel more comfortable around them. It was the same with my boyfriend's dad (he's really serious and quiet though) and now I don't have any problems hanging out with him and his girlfriend.


Just give it some time for them to get to know you, I'm sure they will really like you.
its very hard to say well just get up and go over there and talk to them have your boyfirend introduce you and meet them first. that is one good one and then slowly you and him go to visit them once a week or so instead of going out nd stuff and slowly but surely you will feel comfortable around them its sad yu have a mum like that that is hard to get over i know but you know what. you have to stop being shy i mean being quiet is one thing but not coming out and visiting people tha tis wrong no one is like your mom or would treat you like that but her so therefore you shoudl know this an maybe you could be more confident then.