Thursday, August 19, 2010

Family advice needed.?

my 24 yr. old daughter lives w/me w/two of her three children. Although one of the three lives w/our cousins due to financial issues that they keep her %26amp; pay for her preschool. Almost every night gainst my voicing I don't like her going out and leaving the kids in bed although I am asleep.. she goes anyway. The oldest child knows she goes out %26amp; is loosing respect for her mother, plus my daughter has gotten drunk while out there %26amp; had to be hospitalized 3x's. She gets into destructive relationships w/men %26amp; recently got medically ill (if u know what I mean). She is quite depressed %26amp; sits home all day sleeping as the two children that can go to school do, and she has the 2.5 yr. old at home. At times I think about having her evicted, but am concerned about the well being of the kids. I've been advised to check into a temporary custody of my grans but am 52 yr. old, single and want to retire in three more yrs. I have talked to, threatened her repeatdly to no avail. Any suggestions?Family advice needed.?
Take the children for their safety. I know she is your daughter and it is so hard to do this. She is also an adult. First and foremost don't blame yourself or your parenting skills. Second she needs help, admit her to a hospital for medical care. Depression can lead to suicide and the children will be orphaned, then what. I know you did your job when you reared your own but parenting seems to be an on going thing. Good luck grandmother and mommy. Just get her help, she certainly needs it.Family advice needed.?
At you describe things now, I don't see how you'd get custody unless she gave it to you willingly. I mean she's got a roof over her head and I assume she's not beating the kids or anything. You can be lazy, a tramp, and a partier but unless the kids have it bad it's hard to get them away from their parents.





You know that she's using your concern for the kids as protection from being thrown out. You can tell her she must get a job (I'm assuming she doesn't work) and take care of the kids or she'll be kicked out and stick to it. She'll either find her way or she'll leave the kids behind.





If a woman is 24, has 3 kids, living in her mother's house and still running wild she's got a hard road ahead of her. If 3 kids doesn't make you grow up, nothing will. No offense but I think if I met your daughter I wouldn't have much respect for her either.
follow through with what you say yeah you want to retire but you have 3 grand kids who's lives will be forever changed if this does not get fixed and she is taking advantage of you it is not ok to go out every night and party those kids want the comfort of knowing she is home if they need her i feel you are enabling her to be this way tell her you will not raise those kids it is her responsibility these kind of parents make ke soo mad i am 26 with 4 kids and never one time did i pull that on my mom because she would not allow it. i lied down and made them they are mine and it sounds like the third child is gone because instead of her working she parties there is help out there of single parents she needs to look into that. so sorry for the long spill the point is threatening doesn't work i have a 1,4,5,and 8 year old if threatening doesn't work on them it sure as hel* wont work on her so follow through kick her out get custody do whatever it takes to ensure those kids are safe they are our future!!! good luck and remember it takes tough love sometimes to get the point across
sometimes even though you feel you have done your job raising kids, a situation like this will arrise for some people. is it more important to you to retire, or make sure your grandkids are raised happy and healthy and not do get taken away from their mother and put into the system. you need to deside what is best for the grandkids at this point concidering your daughter hasnt hit rock bottom or gotten the wake up call she needs and clearly dosnt care about her kids wellbeing. Take care of those babies, they need someone to love them and give them a stable enviroment.... maybe getting her kids taken away and handed to you will give her the wake up call to straighten up.
I'm 25 yrs old and live in my own house with my husband and our 1 yr old son. The second I became pregnant I became a parent and had to make decisions for my unborn child. Partying and all that isn't an option when you have another responsibility....





I think you need to let her know you'll be seeking custody of those kids and that she needs to find a job and help herself for her children's sake. Depressing isn't anything to take lightly either so if this is really her problem, she also needs help with that. But right now, those kids need you!
hope i could help i'm just a kid
Get custody of those kids before she completely destroys their lives. All they need is to be alone with her and some drunk guy and who knows what will happen. I think retirement could wait if they are in that much trouble. While its not your responsibility to raise them someone has to and obviously she isn't capable.
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