Parents Death & Family (Advice Please)?

Dear Whomever,





[Background: ]





Recently my father passed away while I am still in my mid twenties. I am the youngest of my older brother. Because of a prior divorce between my parents, my father has been living alone in his own house for many years. I also have been living with my father in his house. My father and I have been on great terms ever since he passed away.





In the past and up until my father鈥檚 death, my father did not get along with my older brother. For this reason, my older brother was kicked out of the house and my father would no longer see my older brother. The only keys to the house were in my possession and in my father鈥檚 possession.





Because of the past behavior of my brother, I also have stopped talking or seeing my brother. It has been at least 2 years since I have seen or spoken with him. He has done some bad things to both me and my father. It is why both my father and I have stopped talking to my brother.





My older brother has been living successfully in his own apartment with his girlfriend. They are not married. But they have both had a college education and have been living well without speaking to me or my father.





Unfortunately, my father did not leave a will and so everything (house and property) has been going through probate. The passing of my father has been very much unexpected (so my father didn鈥檛 make a will) and I still having issues coming to grips with everything.





The only room available within my father鈥檚 house is a room that my father and I used for storing stuff. So the room is packed with a lot of stuff! It is packed to the ceiling! I have been living in my own room in my father鈥檚 house for many years. Everything that I own is in my father鈥檚 house.





[Question:]





Suddenly, everything has changed! I have had no choice but to see my brother and his girlfriend recently after my father nor I have seen my brother for many years. Because my father passed, I have no choice but to have to see them on a daily basis.





As you can imagine, I am in a tough position and have cried endless nights over this. In a lot of ways, I feel like I am the one who can so easily be taken advantage of. And, I really feel all alone where I have no one to get advice from; I don鈥檛 have a girlfriend or anyone to express my soul to. I don鈥檛 even know what to do or where to begin. I am so very taken aback by everything!





Recently, my older brother has requested to move into my father鈥檚 house with his girlfriend. I honestly feel that it would be quite an awkward situation to have my brother and his girlfriend move into my father鈥檚 house after my father nor I have seen my older brother for many years! I feel really strongly about this! I feel like he鈥檚 taking advantage of the situation and thinking really only about himself and his girlfriend.





The reality is that the house will be split between me and my brother because of probate. I honestly know this would not be the will of my father, but I have taken a look at reality and know there is nothing I can do about that considering my father didn鈥檛 leave a will. I have already had to cope with a lot of things that I know my father wouldn鈥檛 have wanted. And, I know he wouldn鈥檛 have wanted me to suffer through this situation in this sort of way.





I cared a lot for my father, and so it鈥檚 hard for me to realize things will have to change now because of this. I feel I need time to cope with things: meaning that change needs to happen at a pace that I feel comfortable with and in a way that is respectful towards my father鈥檚 wishes.





My brother and his girlfriend have the expectation that they can come into the house and essentially gut the bedroom that has been used as storage. In fact, we have no idea where we would even put the stuff that is there. And then my older brother and his girlfriend plan to move into the bedroom. On top of that, my brother has a dog, a bunny, and a cat that he expects to bring over to my father鈥檚 house. My father and I already had our own dog.





I sort of feel that it would be somewhat unethical for my brother to bring himself and his girlfriend so suddenly into my father鈥檚 house. If they did move in, I would feel awkward with my older brother having his girlfriend go through my father鈥檚 stuff. I don鈥檛 feel that is her right to do so! I feel that at the very least that going through my father鈥檚 stuff should be something family does. Plus, if they did move in, I feel awkward about having my older brother and his girlfriend in my father鈥檚 house when I am not around. I would like to know what stuff among my father鈥檚 is being gone through. Can anyone understand this? And I don鈥檛 want to end up being at work while my brother or his girlfriend are living in my father鈥檚 house and going through my father鈥檚 stuff when I am not there.





What sounds more reasonable to me is that I continue living at my father鈥檚 house just as I was doing and knowing that my father was happy I waParents Death %26amp; Family (Advice Please)?
I agree completely with wildbill. Do not let them move in. Do not let them. Sell the house and everything in it. Get your lawyer involved if you have to. Keep the momentos you need to (photos, trinkets, etc.) and chalk up the rest to history. With the proceeds you end up with, start fresh and with a smile on your face and an outlook towards the future. Good luck and I'm praying for you.Parents Death %26amp; Family (Advice Please)?
I lost my mother 5 yrs ago and it still feels like yesterday i know your pain i was 25 at the time and also the youngest i had power of attorney only of my mothers health. When she passed i was in another world lost sad and lets not forget very mad i hated when people say they are in a better place what! Anyways of course family that was never around moved into her house and kept all of her stuff well it was so hard for me that i could'nt even see her house it hurt way too much before she died she had planted some flowers that would'nt grow after she died i passed by her house and they had grown so big she would of loved them. It's hard i have alote of regets things i wish i could of done pray tell god to give you strenght to be strong change the locks to the door be strong if you can't face them then leave a letter and explain how you need time to be alone and mourn your father you need your space! In the mean time see what you can do to keep them out call an attorney if they try to still move in call the cops. Be strong you have your dad watching over you and taking care of you. Try to find a church you can attend and let all of those tears out and meet some nice people.Don't give in stick to your gut.I know it's hard i had to go to counseling to learn to say no to people who took advantage of me it's easier over the phone or by letter. I hope this helps and i'm sorry for your loss take care. Erica
You won't like my answer, but I would sell what could be sold, donate the rest, sell the house and split the money with your brother.. It hurts, but would stop a lot of pain in the long run.