Parents Death & Family (Advice Needed)?

Dear Whomever,





[Background: ]





Recently my father passed away while I am still in my mid twenties. I am the youngest of my older brother. Because of a prior divorce between my parents, my father has been living alone in his own house for many years. I also have been living with my father in his house. My father and I have been on great terms ever since he passed away.





In the past and up until my father鈥檚 death, my father did not get along with my older brother. For this reason, my older brother was kicked out of the house and my father would no longer see my older brother. The only keys to the house were in my possession and in my father鈥檚 possession.





Because of the past behavior of my brother, I also have stopped talking or seeing my brother. It has been at least 2 years since I have seen or spoken with him. He has done some bad things to both me and my father. It is why both my father and I have stopped talking to my brother.





My older brother has been living successfully in his own apartment with his girlfriend. They are not married. But they have both had a college education and have been living well without speaking to me or my father.





Unfortunately, my father did not leave a will and so everything (house and property) has been going through probate. The passing of my father has been very much unexpected (so my father didn鈥檛 make a will) and I still having issues coming to grips with everything.





The only room available within my father鈥檚 house is a room that my father and I used for storing stuff. So the room is packed with a lot of stuff! It is packed to the ceiling! I have been living in my own room in my father鈥檚 house for many years. Everything that I own is in my father鈥檚 house.





[Question:]





Suddenly, everything has changed! I have had no choice but to see my brother and his girlfriend recently after my father nor I have seen my brother for many years. Because my father passed, I have no choice but to have to see them on a daily basis.





As you can imagine, I am in a tough position and have cried endless nights over this. In a lot of ways, I feel like I am the one who can so easily be taken advantage of. And, I really feel all alone where I have no one to get advice from; I don鈥檛 have a girlfriend or anyone to express my soul to. I don鈥檛 even know what to do or where to begin. I am so very taken aback by everything!





Recently, my older brother has requested to move into my father鈥檚 house with his girlfriend. I honestly feel that it would be quite an awkward situation to have my brother and his girlfriend move into my father鈥檚 house after my father nor I have seen my older brother for many years! I feel really strongly about this! I feel like he鈥檚 taking advantage of the situation and thinking really only about himself and his girlfriend.





The reality is that the house will be split between me and my brother because of probate. I honestly know this would not be the will of my father, but I have taken a look at reality and know there is nothing I can do about that considering my father didn鈥檛 leave a will. I have already had to cope with a lot of things that I know my father wouldn鈥檛 have wanted. And, I know he wouldn鈥檛 have wanted me to suffer through this situation in this sort of way.





I cared a lot for my father, and so it鈥檚 hard for me to realize things will have to change now because of this. I feel I need time to cope with things: meaning that change needs to happen at a pace that I feel comfortable with and in a way that is respectful towards my father鈥檚 wishes.





My brother and his girlfriend have the expectation that they can come into the house and essentially gut the bedroom that has been used as storage. In fact, we have no idea where we would even put the stuff that is there. And then my older brother and his girlfriend plan to move into the bedroom. On top of that, my brother has a dog, a bunny, and a cat that he expects to bring over to my father鈥檚 house. My father and I already had our own dog.





I sort of feel that it would be somewhat unethical for my brother to bring himself and his girlfriend so suddenly into my father鈥檚 house. If they did move in, I would feel awkward with my older brother having his girlfriend go through my father鈥檚 stuff. I don鈥檛 feel that is her right to do so! I feel that at the very least that going through my father鈥檚 stuff should be something family does. Plus, if they did move in, I feel awkward about having my older brother and his girlfriend in my father鈥檚 house when I am not around. I would like to know what stuff among my father鈥檚 is being gone through. Can anyone understand this? And I don鈥檛 want to end up being at work while my brother or his girlfriend are living in my father鈥檚 house and going through my father鈥檚 stuff when I am not there.





What sounds more reasonable to me is that I continue living at my father鈥檚 house just as I was doing and knowing that my father was happy I waParents Death %26amp; Family (Advice Needed)?
bro sounds like a dead beat tell him he cannot move in there if legal issues are in the way u may have to sell the plae split the difference beacause no wil and go your seperate waysParents Death %26amp; Family (Advice Needed)?
Well, technically your brother have all the rights. He can do whatever he wants in the house. His a legal son thus entitling him with your father properties. There is nothing you can do about it but I understand your predicaments %26amp; the sentiments you have. We are living in the real world, rights to properties must be well documented. The best you can do (if you have the money) is to pay your brother the equal share he is entitled for the house, provided he wanted too...your problem will start if he insist to stay %26amp; don't accept your offer. I'm sure you will not leave the house because of the sentimental value it has, if you choose to stay you are in for the silent war %26amp; the thinking who will be the 1st to give in. Are you up to it?, with your personality I think not. So if you have the money, talk to a lawyer about paying your brother his shared %26amp; let the lawyer do his work.
I am so sorry for your loss. that said, you have to take the emotion out of this and look at it from a legal point of view. the estate is still in probate and thus no changes can happen till that is settled. once it is determined that your brother and you will own half a house, then you can demand your half in cash from your brother or buy out his half. or sell it out right and the cash split. DO NOT under any circumstances give a key to him till after probate is thru and you have determined how you will settle this. you may have to get a lawyer as i will bet your brother will not be able to buy you out. that said, GET A LAWYER ASAP.
I am sorry about your situation but in every family things like this become real messy if there was no will left.My only advice is to make a appointment to speak to some one who is professionally trained in this matter.Your brother has just the same amount of rights as you have.I wish you all the best .
if the house is to be both of yours, you can sell it for what you can get for it and split the money ( if there is any) and go your separate ways.





there are monthly payments that have to be made on the house, utilities, property taxes, do you know that? do you have an uncle or someone that can help you do this? how are you going to pay these bills on your own?





i think that is why your brother wants to move in? to help pay the bills? how does that take advantage of you? it helps you, because you might not be able to stay in the house if you cant afford to do so. if you both pay the bills you might be able to stay in the house?





lastly, i am sorry your dad is not there anymore, but, you do have someone in your life, your brother, and you are not seeing the whole picture here, dont take on your dads attitude toward your brother, it has been several years, these are years when young men change and grow up and i am sure he has, so have you. you dont have to be loyal to your dads arguments with him, that is silly, you should be loyal to him as your brother, and he to you, do you know how many guys would love to have a brother, what a gift for you he is?





i think frankly it is silly that you continue to have problems with your brother and dont try as hard as you can to get along with him and both of you come together as adults and try to find a way to get along and keep the house in the family or sell it and try to make some money. watch this carefully, if the bills are not paid, you cant stay in the house.





it really really really isnt about your father anymore, it is about you growing up and seeing life and people for yourself. dont have a bad attitude about your brother, welcome him and try to see the good in this. you can be there for each other.