My husband and his family....advice please?

im so frustrated. i love my husband more than life. He's my heart, my everything. my best friend my life partener. Everything to me. And it goes both ways. It was love at first sight, we got married in a year. We are each others everything. But there is one problem. All of his family depends on him, his mom, his sisters, his cousins, everyone. he is everyones father and everyones fixer. Everyone depends on him to figure out their problems. But none of them appreciate it. IM so tired of him being there for everyone. Its gotten to the point that his mother and sister are liveing with us in our two bedroom house. I cant stand it! I hate them being here. And he cant tell them no. He cant tell them they need to find another place. When he says he's going to i know he doesnt want to and i feel selfish and tell him its ok. But i cant take it. Im going insane. Its causeing issues between us and with them and this isnt the kind of family you can have issues with one person because they ALL get mad. Everyone, even family that doesnt even live here. I dont want them here, i dont want to make my husband put them out because i know it will hurt him, i dont want them to all hate me. I dont know what to do. I feel like running away from my own home. What do i do?My husband and his family....advice please?
Hi,


It sounds like he's a great guy, be he needs to know that his family's problems are not your problems.


The best solution would be to move far enough away that they need to find somewhere else for support. This may not be realistic...


All I can say is take time for yourself, and for your relationship.. do date nights and work out a plan for his family to become more self sufficient.


Where would they be and what would they do if he weren't around?


He maybe enabling them to keep doing what there doing (nothing!) and not help themselves...


You are not being selfish, and anyone in your position would be going a lil crazy!


If I were you I'd take a little holiday, go stay with a friend/family and talk it out.


Your feelings are totally valid.


Hope things get better soon!My husband and his family....advice please?
You're definitely in a tough position. You must sit your husband down and convince him to tell his mother and sister to move out. This is your marriage and your life, no one not his mother or even yours should be involved in it. Things like that can ruin the happiest of marriages. You're in-laws must leave soon and if they don't have a place to go then the only solution is for you to find a temporary place to stay until they're gone.


Best of luck to you.
how is it his mother managed to live under a roof before he ever got born or he ever got married huh? now of a sudden she needs his house.


take out a newspaper and start looking for apts for them


even the bible says dont tarry long at your neighbors door or they will hate you


just tell them they have to go,
You and your husband need to see a counselor that can explain why it's a salvation to YOUR marriage to have his mother and sister live elsewhere. If he truly cares about you, foremost, he'll agree to this. Much good luck.
if you dont have financial problem so lets his parents stay in your other 2 bedrooms house. or say your husband back and solve this problem.
if hubby is deployed , then u are taking care of them not him. As much as he is the father figure to them.


Your house your rules. They dont like it , then they leave.
I'm sorry but your impulse to run away from your own home is the correct one. You are right in assuming that you can never compete with his family. He is the only one who can straighten this mess out, and I seriously doubt he will do it.


I hope you have family or good friends who live close because you need to go live with them and tell your husband you're not coming back until all of his relatives are moved out of the house and that he will have to get approval for any ';service requests'; from his relatives from you.


If he doesn't give in then start having as many affairs as you can until you find a better man, and then leave him. I'm sure he and his relatives will be very happy together.
I would consider talking to your husband about it, I know what it feels like, I've been put in that type of situation, when i was younger my father seemed to be the father of everyone in his whole family, if they had the smallest problem they'd all come running to him, and well like you i thought it was unfair, because it got to the point where they moved in with us.





I highly suggest you to talk to your husband about it again, but this time outside the house. If his relatives moving in with you guys is causing problems.....then they need to move out, I know you may feel guilty, but its either his family or you and the kids you might have in the future. When he decided to marry you he wanted to start a new family with you and well that does NOT include his mom or sister.








Your husband needs to talk to his mom and sister and tell them that you too need your own privacy in the best way he can find. It's his job to tell them. The most he can do is offer them his help maybe money wise. If they need money to rent a place out, but his not the only son tho, im guessing her mom had more, so its not his whole responsibility either, you need to make him understand that.








It's never going to work out if his family is living under the same roof as you, your always going to have problems, believe me my mother always did, until she had a serious talk with my father. He neccesarily doesn't need to choose between you and them, he can be with both of you, their just has to be some distance and privacy, theirs nothing wrong with that.








It's even worse if your the one thats dealing with it. If you can take it anymore and theirs is some problems you need to let your husband know your either telling them to leave or either you moving its his call, but I mean its your house, his not home. you should be comfortable in your own home. Do what feels right to you.








Best of luck -sincerely
If your husband don't want to do it you do it. It is not your husbands responsibility to take care of anyone but his own wife and children. Tell the mother and sister they have 3 days to find a place to live and give them a written notice so it holds up at the courts if need be. Also tell your husband for now on he tells his family he has to discuss things with you 1st before making a decision and than you can call them back and say no if he can't.
Run away from home.





Just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to be attached to their hip. Doesn't mean you have to live only for each other.





Tell him the house is too crowded, and since mommy and sister won't leave, you are. Go about looking for a place to live. When they get upset, be calm. Be sweet. Tell them it's all for the best.





Tell your husband you don't want a divorce. Tell him you intend to work on your marriage, but you won't live like this anymore. That he can come visit you at your new place, but that he needs to find some boundaries before you live under the same roof again.