Family advice needed please?

my mom for the past while has gotten rectal prolapse as well as urinary tract infection.now four years ago when my mom went in for pneumonis my niece stayed with her so i knew all would be alright.i took her and my nephew in because he was kicked out on the street and she was being abused.lately it seems like they avoid me.she says that she can't help my mom this time because she is full of stress.and he don't like hospitals.they barely work they get all they want.and it seems like after 8 years i just can't count on them anymore.i need someone to stay with my mom while she is in hospital because she has dementia and feels safer when someone is there.now is this unfair for me to ask my niece to do?Family advice needed please?
You need to set the tone for what you expect.


Asking them to stay there at the hospital while you work is probably too much. An hour or two visit every other day would be better and less stress on your mom as well. Your mom needs rest, too. Perhaps you should consider talking with her caregivers there at the hospital regarding what is most appropriate.





You need to sit down with the neice and nephew and help them formulate a real plan for themselves. It really sounds like they've worn out their welcome. If they are adults, the last thing they should plan on is hanging there at your house. They need to get working, get bank accounts, save some money and get their own place. If they can't each land full-time jobs, they can juggle two part-time jobs. Give them a time frame... something you can both live with.





You can add a little more pressure in subtle ways... asking them to handle some basic cleaning or maintenance chores. As the end of your timeframe gets closer, you can do other things like stopping the cable TV service, or stop buying groceries other than peanut butter %26amp; bread. Consider putting a locking cover on your thermostat, set to the cheap side of uncomfortable.


Definitely put a deadbolt lock on your bedroom and closet doors to protect your identity (papers of all sorts) and anything else you don't want getting poked through or walked off with... the psychology of it should come across loud and clear.Family advice needed please?
If you can't stay with her, there's no harm in asking. But if you feel like it will drive a major wedge between the family then don't. If you can't ask her or anyone else in the family, try hiring someone to stay with her, but really... hospital staff is looking after her right? They are trained professionals and let them take care of your mother and just check in on her frequently to make sure everything is being taken care of properly.
It sounds like some tuff love is in order. These youngsters cannot just piddle by forever. You've helped them and now it sounds like they are old enough to help you. What ';stress'; is she facing that is so pressing that it hinders her ability to care for another, espically family? I'd just as soon make sure that they undersatand that there is no free ride in life. I'm not sure if an extreme measure is in order (kicking them out if they are older than 18), but it sounds like it's driving you down and that's going to cause your health and psycological state to go down hill. Where will that leave you and your mother? If you had the money and time, I'd really suggest family councling. Other than that, a heart to heart with the kids is the only other option left I'd know to do. But again, they don't sound interested and you might not have the training or patience to deal with these out of control people. Good look.. all my best to you.

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