Basically my mum has got a cronic lung disease and recently went into hospital and got put onto a life support machine, and we was told that she would not make it!! Well she did make it but she is still very ill she is out hospital now and living back in her house where she lives alone. She is unable to do much for herself and finds the simplists tasks a huge struggle, she does not have any actual proper care as yet, only what I give her. I am thinking of trying to doing an exchange from a place and area that I am very happy in, in order to be able to have my mum come and live with me so I can care and look after her, as I kno she is very depressed and unhappy with her life and feels very loney being on her own. I just want some honest genuine advice from people telling me if I am doing the right thing ?? I appreciate all advice and thank you all in advance x xFamily advice urgently need!?
Caring for someone that is very ill, no matter how much you love them, is a very stressful and demanding task. I know from personal experience because my mother is an only child and went through this with her father and her mother. My grandfather died in 1994 after an extended illness. They came to live with us because my grandmother wasn't physically strong enough to lift him, etc. Then, in 2001 my grandmother developed heart problems. They found a congenital heart defect that was slowly shutting her heart down. For two years my mother cared for her. I won't go through all the problems, but it was very difficult for all of us to go through as we loved our grandmother very much. I tell you all that to tell you this... With all the problems and challenges my family faced, we wouldn't trade those times with my grandparents for anything. People urged us to put them in a nursing home, etc. We refused and we are happy that we did. Even though your mother's body is not cooperating, she is still in there. Her mind and heart are the same. If she is gone from you in a year or two then you still have the rest of your life to live. You should live this part of your life so that you can look back on it and think you did the right thing. No matter what your decision I wish you the best of luck.Family advice urgently need!?
Get her a nurse, and convince her to move closer. If you give up your job and your life, you might resent her. Being a caregiver is really, really hard and mentally and physically draining. Having her closer would give you some respite and make you more available without changing your whole life.
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