We didn't grow up in a large family (we both have 1 sibling) but we chose to have four of our own. Would I say it's awful? No. Does it have it's moments?? Of course! lol. At the moment our kids are 13, 10, 5 and 3. I will tell you that it was the fourth one that had us making the biggest adjustments financially. My car was now too small for everyone, off to buy a van. Most of the baby equipment that I had used for the others was outdated, off to buy new. The first and last are boys so there were not many hand-me downs, too much time in between. I've had the youngest potty trained for about 4 months now. I changed diapers for 13 years straight....with no breaks! That's roughly 28,000 diapers!!!! Just about the time that one was getting out of diapers, here came the next one. My oldest did the math on that the other day...and wow! lol.
If you are organized, financially set and have the energy then having a big family isn't bad at all. My kids get personal time with each of us. We have extra money for them to do things. I stay at home with them and they are well adjusted and doing great in school. We support their interests in music and sports. Things are sometimes chaotic but none of us would have it any other way. You can make it all work if you have a plan and are flexible enough to deviate when you need to.
As far as the world turning to crap. It will turn to crap if loving people decide not to have kids. We see our children as our contribution to the world. It's our goal to send interesting, well educated, compassionate people out the door at some point...How else will the world ever improve?Advice from people who grew up in a large family?
I love being the 9th of 10 children. Where we may have been lacking in one on one time with our parents, gets made up by extra one-on-one time with our siblings. We learned social interaction skills through natural consequences right there at home, surrounded by people who love us. If you were having a falling out with one sibling, there was always another one there to take you in %26amp; help you work things out. We learned responsibility as we helped take care of each other and, for us younger kids, saw our older siblings proudly taking on family chores for our parents.
And, now, when we're older and mom %26amp; dad have long ago passed away, we still have that same web of strong family bonds holding us together, supporting each other in our lives.
i have 4, and we're fortunate to have the income so that material things are not a problem. i certainly have very little personal time (my Y! Answers are made while the kids are occupied with one another, and i'm simultaneously supervising the block tower or listening to their ';concerts'; or whatever) -- but i think the trade-off is totally worth it. there are sacrifices on things like activities -- i can't drive two kids simultaneously to two different places -- but we've made it work thus far. the biggest problem as i see it is that they do each get less parental attention than when i had fewer kids. i try to compensate by making a big effort to do things individually with each kid (as well as things together), though, and, on the positive side, splitting my time helps temper my natural inclination to hover too much. :-) But to see them running around playing with each other, it's clear to me that they've gained something wonderful by having a large family, too....
Yes, I think it is a bit extreme. Not only do the children not get ample ammount of attention, the world is already busting at the seams and the carbon is already wrecking havoc.
You have no idea what is going to happen in this world. This world is literally falling apart, turning to crap. Why bring so many children into this unstable world?
Hi, I was the oldest of 5 kids. I would't never want it any other way. I have 3 kids of my own and due to medical reasons me and my wife can't have any more, but we did try and wanted more kids. The kids never have enough ? Enough what, gameboys, TVs and other stuff thats not really important. To me family is the most important thing, not stuff you buy. World turning to crap ? Maybe if people put more effort into family then their world would not be turning to crap. No personal time? When I don't have to be working I want to be with my family, not alone. To sum it up I loved having 2 sisters and 2 brothers and I wish I could have more then 3 kids now. Maybe adoption will be in my future.
Hey I grew up with 2 bros, and 4 sisters.
It isn't that bad, but i'm the youngest so I kinda had it easier,
My suggestion, if you have 3 now, wait till they're all atleast 16 years old before you have more, cause then they can atleast help out more.
If your not single it's a heck of alot easier too, coz my old man passed when I was only 2 years old,
But I turned out ok, Just don't let your kids veg out infront of the T.V when your to busy cause I was a slob for a while before I picked up my act, im almost 20 now,
If you have alot of children they are ussually more determined to become inderpendant, im the only one who stayed with my Mum passed my 17th bday, but I have personal reasons for that,
otherwise yeah go for it, but make sure you plan it out right and keep saveing money,
for each kid, put $10 aside each week untill they are 15-20 years old, dont touch it, then they will have heaps of money for a car and other things ... it will make their life so much easier, and well $10 a week isn't much money at all, even put $5 aside for yourself so your not tempted to touch your childs saveings if your ever in financial trouble,
well I hope my advice helped :)
Merry Christmas,
and if you dont follow christmas well, Take care haha :)
i am one of six and my parents probably shouldnt of had one kid. so my oppion would be that it all depends on the parents and what kind of people they are. some can handle that many kids and some cant.
It could be h ard for you.... but for the kids as well.... I know in my family at first we hated each other... and then we learned to stand up for one another.... and get along always have each other's backs... so if you do... I think that they will do great... me and my 4 brothers are really close... and I would do anything for them!
I was oldest of 4 and to this day (I am in my 40's) I am still furious at my mom for having too many kids.. she should have stopped at 2 or 3 even..
she never had time for all of us (she was a stay at home mom- dad worked).. she was always busy with ';the baby'; - do this day I also hate babies, I never felt loved.. the babies were always more important...
heck even the doctors told her to stop at 3..
my earliest memory was me crying on the phone when she was in the hospital after the 4th kid.. I was soo sad.. I was sooo angry at her... how could she do this to me?? why didnt she love me??
we did have enough money - they did send us all to college or University.. they owned a house with a big yard...
it was LOVE that was missing the most.. I simply never felt loved...and I am telling the truth when I say I hate babies because of it.. Its not that she didnt love us.. but each of us wanted and NEEDED more time than we got.. I know mom sacrificed alot of the things she wanted to do for us.. so I think she has some regrets too...
PLUS yes - the world is grossly over populated - at over 6.5 BILLION we exceed the United Nations reccommended sustainalbe level of 5 Billion.. our numbers are our biggest threat to our continued existance... in fact its estimated that at our current growth rates within 50 years we will be forced to eat cat and dog like in China simply because cities will have consumed so much farm land.. its also estimated that (unless we colonize Mars...) within 80 years we will have to place controls on age to eliminate some population (eg. people will be only allowed to live to a certain age)
I am sure I will get thumbs down but this is an honest opinion and that is what you want, right??
I was # 5 of 7 kids growing up. We always had someone to play with. Things were hard because my mom was a single parent trying to raise the youngest 5 on her own. But we managed. We are all very close. We still talk at least once a week, even tho we are spread over the US.
I now have 7 kids. They all seem to get along great. OF course they are gonna fight and be mad at each other. But They look out for each other too.
If you want a large family, dont let anyone tell you you cant have it. And then you may find you cant handle a lot of kids. ITs something that only you and your significant other can figure out for yourselves.
We have 5 kids in our family, and I don't see anything wrong with it. We always had everything we needed, and then some. My parents were by no means rich, but we never ever went without. We are not a very close-knit family, but that has more to do with our personalities as opposed to the number of kids we have in our family. If you have the means (and patience) to do it, why not? It's your choice, not anyone else's. If that's what you want, and what will make you all happy, go for it.
I'm the oldest of 5 (we range from age 30 down to age 8) plus my parents raised 9 of my cousins for a time, and recently adopted one of them. My father worked and my mom took care of us kids. It's not easy sometimes. Money was tight, space was precious, my parents didn't get personal time or vacations, there was always work to be done and laundry to do, and I had many responsibilities at a young age. But we always had plenty of food to eat and we were never lonely. I understand now that my parents were doing what was best for the common good of the family but it's hard to rationalize when you're 11. I think it all built character and I have a tremendous amount of respect and admiration for my parents and all they did for not only their own kids but ones that didn't even belong to them. I've always said the reason I don't want kids now is because I did all my mothering during my adolescent and teen years, but in a way that helped strengthen the bond between me and my siblings which is still strong even though 3 of us are out on our own now.
I don't know that my parents ever considered what a lousy world we were entering into. I guess they just had faith it would all work out for our family. I don't know why they kept having kids, other than we were all surprises.
Side note: My mom witnessed a car accident involving two neighbors in front of our home and had to go to court to testify. During her testimony, the crazy old lady at fault for the accident yelled ';She's crazy, you should see all the kids she has!'; ha ha ha!
i had 3 siblings (so 4 kids total in the family) to me it seems a bit excessive to have that many kids.
I was raised as one of 9 kids. No, my parents were not crazy, but sometimes our house was.
Let me explain. I am the oldest and I have a brother three years younger than me. We were the only children my parents planned to raise.
A car accident in Louisiana killed two of my uncles and their wives while on vacation. One couple had three kids, the other four. So, when I was 15 years old, I instantly got 7 new kids in the house between the ages of 2 and 11. We had a pretty close family before then, but having that many kids in my house really shaped my life.
I became a lot more responsible, but never lacked anything growing up. Financially thanks in part to life insurance policies that paid for my cousins basic needs. So far, five of us have graduated from high school, and four have attended college (two on full scholarships). In high school my dad coached my volleyball team and neither of my parents have missed a basketball game for any of their kids in 11 years. It is great being part of a large family even if it wasn't what my parents planned.
I have 4 brothers and 2 sisters a total of 7 all together..Yes we fought over silly things and we didn't always get what we wanted but our parents loved us and thats what matters the most..If you can afford 5 have 5...
i have 3 siblings so 4 alltogether.....i think if you are well prepared and have thought it through then there is no problem with having 5 kids as long as ur responsible and willing to sacrifice a little then you guys will be fine....raise your kids to be good people and the will take care of the world going to crap problem!!! and who cares what other people think anyways
I had 8 older brothers and one younger sister..... and lot of cousins that lived with us over the years..... and when a friend's father died..........we took all 8 of those children into our home.
It isn't easy in a lot of ways, like always needing more money..... but if everyone waited until they thought they could afford children........there wouldn't be many children......
I remember getting on the school bus (we moved to the country from Chicago)... the kids on the bust counted us as we got on the bus..... it didn't bother me.... I loved having a big family!
My daughter has 3 children, and she has two jobs to help support the family and get the things they need and want...
I don't know your age or income....... but you and only you and your husband know what is right for your family....
Never a dull moment in a large family.... we didn't have computers, we spent time doing activities together like walks and board games.
My father always said kids are cheaper by the dozen!
Good luck and God Bless you.
I have 6 children, 4 still at home. All of them say that this experience makes them want to have large families. There are no guarantees. There are good/bad, happy/miserable families both large and small. All I can tell you is that I don't regret it, and I would do it all over again.
On the financial side, how much is enough? Of course it costs more to raise a large family. We have been able to afford it due to my husband being hardworking, and by being frugal and clever with money. Our children are not spoiled but they have everything they need, and we still have foreign holidays, dinner at good restaurants etc. Just takes some planning.
Do what makes YOU and YOUR family happy and ignore the naysayers, most of them are just jealous anyway.
I am one of 5 girls. My mom is a single parent.
Things were tough at times but ultimately I love having many siblings. We have alot of friends in common, we do alot of things together, sometimes we split up, sometimes we dont. My mom never expected to have 5 kids, especially all 5 of us being girls but she has said on many occasions how much she enjoyed each of us as babies and when we were sleeping were the best moments of her life.
Things were not easy when we were younger but my mom did everything in her power to make sure we did not go without anything. Not only did she provide for us, she played with us and created many great times of laughter and memories and that was the most important thing, not the money or the things but the time she gave to us and the laughs she gave us and the values she taught us.
If you are going to have many children the best thing you can give them, is your time. If you dont have that time, I dont recommend it. My mom would homeschool us as well during the day and then work nights. And when she eventually sent us to school she would work while we were in school and make sure she was there for us all the time when we got home.
I was one of four, and my parents had a difficult time managing everything. It wasn't about money or anything, but they just weren't cut out for juggling that much responsibility.
My sister - in - law, however, has four beautiful children. The way she and her husband care for them is amazing. Somehow, each child is able to get as much attention as most only children get. They are extremely organized and calm people who were just made for having kids.
We're currently expecting Baby #2, and I think we're going to be done after that. I don't want to risk being stressed constantly. Instead, I'd rather be calm and give my children as much individual attention as possible.
I come from a large family of 8!
it has its pros and cons like everything else.
have closer bonds to my siblings [being that there were so many of us growing up at the same time] as opposed to my partner who comes from a family of 3 ... yes, we argued and fought, and there were days we wanted to kill each other BUT we also backed each other up, shared our knowledge, learnt valuable lessons in sharing and caring and laughed a lot.
';personal time'; like you mention was never an issue for us, as it became ';natural'; to do things we wanted with a sibling. some days you have your favourite and other days not so much!
we didnt get much ';extra money'; from our parents [usually only from family friends and grandparents on a special occasion]...but we didnt really need it [in hindsight] as we shared a lot of our stuff i.e. books, games etc.
raising a big family isnt the easiest thing to do, of course people would be telling you its hard, but its definitely VERY rewarding. now being older, i feel blessed to have siblings - and feel security in having them around.
the world has changed - but WHO IS to say you cant be the exception!!! it doesnt matter if you have 1 or 10 - as long as love, discipline and kindness is given equally and fairly, why should it matter?
i know my mum went mad a little during our teenage years - but she made it :D and is able to laugh about everything now :D [so it cant be THAT bad]!
Good luck and I really hope you do have 5! Children are our future, and many blessings are brought with each and everyone!
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