Your question hits very close to home with me. I have 3 children and recently separated from my ex. I'm a single dad and I care for the 3 of them 24/7 The toughest part of this is putting on a smile for your children because I'm sure they're going though some confusion right now and are looking to you to be their rock. What you're going through is hard and the adjusting can take time but it will get better. I'm sure you're a good person with many good qualities. It can be hard to see that when someone has been putting you down then kicking you while you're there. I think you'll find happiness with someone else. Take the time to get your bearings. Being in another relationship does not define who you are. So don't jump into one right away. Now is the time you can be choosy. If you're still in the same house you were in while married, get out with the kids and find activities to do. Sometimes the pain from a previous relationship can linger in a house worse then stinky garbage. Re-decorate, keep yourself busy. and most important find some alone time, just you, no kids, just something that adults do for fun. Remember, you decide that you're a better person not anyone else or your abusive ex. Hang in there you're gonna make it. I have a family problem and need some advice?
First off ignore him, he's an abuser trying to make you stay for his own personal problems not a psychic. Second, don't worry about finding someone right now. being a single mom is very hard, but kids see the abuse of a parent and it is very tough. the best thing for right now is to give them a stable atmosphere and show them how safe they are with just you. Being just you and them will make the changes so much smoother then you them and random guy who they see as ';abusive to my mom the second'; Later when things calm down and everyone is feeling better look into dating again. just don't rush it.
Also, a piece of advice. since abuse (wether aimed at the kids or not) affects the entire family, I would suggest finding a family therapist and going together. you and the kids can all sit together and talk about how this man affected the family with a non biased other person so you can heal quickly and move onto a great new life.
ps: congrats on getting rid of the sob!
Hun, that a line every guy gives a girl after she finally gets the balls to dump him. The truth is you will eventually find someone if you wish to. He will have a hard time, women are getting smarter and are more able to look through his crap. Do something for yourself now that you will have more time since you won't be catering to him. Take some classes that you have been interested in or get involved in local groups that have the same hobbies or objectives as you, go get a new wardrobe, hair and nails done. When you get out in the world and do things you are truly interested in you will find a person you are more compatible with.
Hi girlfriend i am going through a similar situation but what i have been able to do is ask myself questions and after that i realised that loser tends to make you feel less of yourself. you have the situation to deal with
1 Do you want to continue to live under this abusive and manipulative person? yes relax and keep thinking NO? wake up and live above his limitations and you will not be surprised to see a wonderful soul doing everything to be your man
2 sort yourself out, don't get over him with another relationship rather with a better life get more qualifications, look good, widen your horizons and let him regret ever leaving you. It is time for ladies to take charge rather being object of wrestle mania practices.
Just be who your are. Don't worry about what other people say. People put other people down because they have a low self esteem. Just continue being who you are, just because who you are didn't work for you two doesn't mean that it won't for someone else. The next person will like you and your kids for who you guys are.
One advice that i always follow is, ';Don't worry about what other people say about you, If they truly know you, they wouldn't say what they said.';
Take care and always look forward towards the positive even if you hit some bad speed bumps.
He said that to make you feel like you were the problem, but he chose to abuse you. That's a problem with him, and the truth is, he will never be able to make a relationship work because he can't respect the other person.
There are plenty of women who divorce with children and marry again. I'm sure you know people in that situation ... just don't be in a hurry. Being single is hella fun, and the more fun you have, the more you prove to your ex that HE is and was the problem.
Good luck.
An abuser needs to control the person. Putting you down and telling you no one else will want you is all part of that control. When you believe what he says, he has you. Please don't fall for it. Get help, talk to others who have been through it. You will see you are not alone and you're not a bad person. Hang onto your family and friends because that's another ploy they use is to keep you away from those who will support you. Often times they don't change and divorce is the only way to save yourself. Good luck.
He is just angry and bitter man! You will find someone else, someone who is going to love you the way you should be loved and have your 3 kids, everything happens for a reason, thank goodness you didn't have kids with him, your live would be worse protecting your kids too.
Don't look back only move forward, don't let him control how you feel about yourself! What a JERK!!!! he won't find anyone else with that personality!
Not sure if you have three kids or want to have three kids, question was not clear, but if you have 3 kids already, good luck and hang in there, do this for them and yourself being, be strong! Good Luck!
Hey Love,
first of all, concentrate on yourself. Sounds like your self esteem took a beating from the marriage. Stay positive and surround yourself with positive people and activities. There is someone out there for you but don't go seeking he will come to you when you least expect it. By taking care of yourself you will be happier, and healthier. I am sure you were putting your all into your kids and your marriage now it is time to focus a little on you. Keep your head up, and stay focused. YOU can do it.
I would focus on you and your three kids for the time being. There is a lot of healing to do before you can even find someone that is good enough for you. Your husband is lashing out because he is angry. He's intentionally trying to hurt you by saying that you'll never find anyone else. This is not true...but I wouldn't rush into it. Finding out who you are will help make you happier, and feel better. Then the person you have been looking for will find you!
You should focus on the lives of your children. Don't go looking for other men until all of your children are grown and out of the house. It's normal to feel horrible and one can't cure normal, so you have to do the best and put on a smile for your kids, don't make it worse for them by dragging them through more relationships and men.
PS- Most child predators get to kids through single and divorced mothers. Hope you don't screw up your kids' lives even more by making horrible decisions! Most divorcees and single moms do. Tisk Tisk.
DO NOT LISTEN TO YOUR EX HUSBAND!! He is trying to keep the abuse going! Take a look in the mirror, you are a strong person and you have a lot to offer to another person. Don't let some abuser define your happiness. If you can get someone to baby sit you kids, do it, take yourself out somewhere nice. Pamper yourself a little, get a massage, get your hair done, go to dinner with yourself. Make yourself feel good about yourself. You'll be just fine, just keep your head up.
just dont worry hunny.
you dont need to become a better person, just think good things about yourself to boost your confidence and that will make you feel better about yourself
my best friends mum was in the same situation as you
but with just a bit of hope and staying as happy as she could she hung on and now shes in a great relationship with a man and he loves her children x children arent a disadvantage loads of people love children and if you find someone which im sure you will he will love you that much that it wont even matter that you have children
good luck x
Go out with your friends and have a good time. He's officially succeeded in getting in your head and making you feel miserable. Think about it, the divorce rate is 50% now a days. Don't you think there are going to be single men out there with children? It's not like it was in the past. Having kids doesn't mean you have baggage. Maybe go and talk to someone about how your feeling. It helps to talk to a stranger sometimes! Good luck and chin up!
Honey you will find someone just take your time you don't want another jerk like the one you are getting away from.
Be happy you and the 3 kids are healthy i know that sounds like a load of crap but when i feel down i look around and see i have it so much better than most.
First of all good for you for getting out of a bad relationship. Spend good quality time with the kids, but make sure you have time for yourself and your needs. Another guy WlLL come along but give it time, you don't want to rush into anything to quick
Do not let his words bring you down. You will find somebody. I did... like you I also have 3 kids and I am married. After going through so many zeros I finally found my prince. Seek God first he will help you through it all. Best of luck.
I think you it's about time for ypu to get out and get your kids out of that becase you would't like if it was one of them due what you need for them an your self I'm here if need.
You are a good person, and you should always think that way. You may need to talk to someone for help with your esteem. Having 3 kids doesn't stop anyone from finding love. You will.
It happens everyday.
Read this article
http://www.ehow.com/how_4479397_let-rela鈥?/a>
You could also ask your question on this site:
http://www.spousesanonymous.ning.com/
Don't listen to him you will find someone. God has a plan for all of us and his plan is amazing and he loves you A lot so it must be a really good plan.
Sweetie, you probably are a good person already. Hang out with people who support and love you and do things for yourself.
you probably are a good person.
???????/ another weird one???? OH GOD%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;SIGH
dont listen to him, hes probaly just angry and wants to hurt your feelings,
im sure you will find someone else :)
hang out with loved ones, friends, mom and dad, etc.
I feel sorry for you that have to go through this phase of life where you have faced an abusive husband and on the other hand you have 3 children's ,who would have to see this cruel part of life. But anyways whatever keeps u happy and it would help you to move on with your new life .
All of us want to live with freedom, with joy and love and can solve easily all the problems. This is the stage of become light (like angel). So how can we do this?
Stop being angry. Don鈥檛 be suppressed, but don鈥檛 express anger. Both ways bring you heavy outcomes. Just be assertive.
Bathe. You can remove all the dust, and negative vibrations through this way.
Breathe in and out deeply while imagining you are letting the new energy come into you, and all the heaviness, tiredness go out.
Play a lot of positive thoughts in your mind. Then you will see your positive life go out!
Always keep zeal and enthusiasm for yourself. This will make you have flying stage.
Meditate, or use relaxation techniques.
Help others.
Be aware. Have awareness about what you attain. If you have this awareness, how can you feel stress, heavy about life any more?
Eat in the right way. Do not eat too much and also choose to eat right things when you do eat. For example: Meat and fish can cause your digestive system to work too hard and become tired. Instead of that, choose food like tofu, beans - in fact, these bring much more protein and less toxins into your system.
Sing! Laugh! Be humourous! Do something that makes your heart happy and makes you feel like dancing.
Tips
Sometimes, we focus so much on the problem: Thinking in this way is very labour-intensive and traps us in bondage. So, have a broad intellect, try to see the whole picture, and you can pass over the mountains of problems easily.
In times of lack of confidence, think to yourself the worst-case scenario. Then think of the chances that is what is exactly going to happen. Chances are it's slim to none, so don't worry n,
Good Luck!
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