Is it better to go to your in-laws for advice, or to go to your own family members?

My wife is very insecure is like an incurable infection, we have been having issues for 7 years of our marriage, but she doesn't want anyone(marriage counselor, parents, pastor, elders, nobody) involved and I cant even talk to her, nobody can, I fill my family members might take sides with me naturally, but I need an avenue to escape or express myself. This is not a case of infidelity or anything like that, these are just little stuff but it is so frequent it might lead to a divorce.Is it better to go to your in-laws for advice, or to go to your own family members?
stay away from either family with this unless you feel she is a danger to herself ! in that case, talk to her family. i suggest a professional counselor. if she won't go. go by yourself. a pro has no personal feelings in this matter and can advise you better.Is it better to go to your in-laws for advice, or to go to your own family members?
Do NOT talk to the family at all. Better to keep the family from getting involved with your marital issues. An impartial third party, like a counselor, would be your best bet. You mantioned a pastor and that would be a good idea. If she doesn't want to see your pastor or elders, perhaps you can get a referral from your pastor to someone that neither of you know.
if you think yo have good relations with her immediate family why not to discuss if it can save your marriage...see how it goes anyou might be able to solve the problem...OR it could get worst...good luck
seek outside help as insiders might take sides'